They stare back, unchanging.
I wonder at my anonymity.
The anonymity of being Stupidosaur.
Even more, about the anonymity of Stupidosaur himself.
"They don't know...who is he...." (Ek Ajnabi)
Its more like,
"They dont know...is he?" (The sequel: Totally Ajnabi)
But someone who read my blogs reminded me on orkut, that even if I cant scratch my head, it does not mean I cant think. After all it isn't like only cats have tails. Reptiles have it too!
So I put my long tail on the table, put a heavy book on the tail, and started walking to and fro in the room.
(Stupidosaurs dont have fine, continuous, voluntary control of their tail. They can use it only to floor somebody in a swift Thapatt! Hence we need the clumsy ritual above to move the tail relative to the body. )
(Some important points I just remembered in this context:
This ritual originated ages ago out of the severe need and desire of stupidosaurs to think.
As evolution proceeded along multiple paths, some evolved beings like cats developed finer voluntary control over their tails in order to get rid of the clumsiness associated with thinking by the above method.
Some other beings like humans misinterpreted it. They thought that the 'thinking' was the result of the part of walking to and fro in the room, and not because of tail movement. So they got rid of the tail itself and simply pace up and down the room when they need to do serious 'thinking'.
Hah! The fools. Little did they know, that though pacing up and down helps in 'thinking', a tail is very necessary to do 'balanced thinking'. Just like a kangaroo uses its tail to keep balance when hopping around.
After all, what do you think caused so may wars? So many tyrannical rules in human history! So many crimes and atrocities! Greenhouse effect! Pollution! And whatnot! Why do you think the Earth is slowly dying at the hands of humans? Its simply because without the tails, the humans have the 'thinking' but no 'balance'! If only they had kept their tails!)
Just as I was getting carried away in these thoughts while getting carried away from the table, a lug at my tail (remember the heavy book on it?) brings me back to earth. (So now you see how the tail and the ritual practically help keep the thoughts in check and balance?)
So now I focus back on thinking about how to get rid of my anonymity, my unknownity.
(Dont go for my neck the regarding grammar. The Stupidosaur neck is so thick, that you would not be able to clasp it half way round, even if you would use your longer limbs for it. Forget about mere hands. Even if there's no such word as 'unknownity', I like how it means and sounds like 'anonymity'. Even more so in the sense I want to convey)
Ah another lug on the tail. Focus. Focus.
Lets see the options:
Till yesterday, Google God only told me about the blogs where Stupidosaur had commented. All search results were like...Stupidosaur said so and so...commented so and so...on such and such's blog. Plus it also had an entry that went like this...
Ultimate Metal Forum - View Single Post - how efffffffing cute is ...
Anyway, look at where this dinosaur was found. I think it's fucking racist. What's next, the Lazysaurus from Africa? Stupidosaur from Poland?www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/819347-post8.html - 12k - Cached - Similar pages
(Oh no this site was supposed to be for family viewing. Thats already ruined by the result quote above!)
Also I cant take a look at the mentioned page cos its blocked from where I am surfing. Anyways the page does not matter. The point is, till yesterday, google result for 'stupidosaur' had nothing about this blog.)
At least today, it has a new entry
Blogger: User Profile: Stupidosaur
Stupidosaur. Occupation: Pre-occupied; Location: India. Why does the taste of pennies remind you of losing a tooth? The taste of penny is so good, ...www.blogger.com/profile/14440677810342540223 - 5k - 18 hours ago - Cached - Similar pages
But still no results about this actual blog.
I guess it will have to wait till the Google bots actually get around to it huh? Till then forget Google. Anyways, who is going to search for an odd word like 'stupidosaur' on Google even when the page starts showing in search?
2) So lets explore 'networking' instead.
I comment at a few posts. Someone finds some comment interesting, clicks on my blogger profile, and from there (hopefully) comes to my blog. This is one good method. In fact some beautiful blog friendships have already resulted from it. Its just like pen-friendship, only faster. But the drawback is that only postal employees could snoop on letters to your pen-friends, here any one can :(
Plus from the point of view of making your blog known, its not very effective. After all how many people would actually notice one measly comment amongst the multitudes?
Another downside is very subjective. It applies to me, may not apply to you. I dont like to comment just for the sake of commenting, or for the sake of making myself 'known'.
(There is good bitchy analysis about commentors here.) I comment only when the blogger is amongst my favourite, or my friend, or if I really have this urge to say something particular about the topic of the post. So my blog isn't gonna go places that way. (Anyways what difference does the blog going anywhere make?)
But lets say even if it does not make any difference to me, the matter of whether my blog is known or not, is important for the sake of the two counters you see on the right. Who knows, if the counters dont get 'job satisfaction', they might desert my blog page. Since I do not pay them, for them counting is 'job satisfaction', and job satisfaction is all that 'counts'!
(Lug at my tail again, just in time. Bless you tail. Bless you book!)
OK so its decided. For whatever reasons, the blog needs to be popularised. Lets look at more alternatives
3) From my own personal experience, I know that in my Statscounter, I am always tempted to see the
a) page from which a visitor reached my blog.
b) physical place from which the person came.
b) only satisfies curiosity
-is useless if the person came from my blogspot comment. cos the path is
blogspot page (with my comment in it)->my blogger profile->my blog, so I can never know which original page led to me, since 'came from' just shows my blogger profile. Unless of course I guess based on the country,city of the IP.
-is useful if the person came from some other blog platform comments, eg the blog of this friend on wordpres. But it has no suspense. I already know the page where I commented.
-is very very useful if anybody has blogrolled me or saved my link say like in their google reader, and came through that link.
The third kind of scenario makes me invariably click back on the page which lead to my page (its link shows in Statscounter)
Based on this, stupidosaur thinks reverse: What if I blogroll people and go to their site from mine? Then just like me, they will always be tempted to follow their statscounter or similar link back to my page, at least once and come to know that there is actually something like http://saying-private-yarn.blogspot.com/. But hey I dont have that much place on my sidebar. And I dont really want to have just any jacko in my blogroll list do I?
So what is the option: Here finally comes the trick the title is talking about.
Add any blogger you come across in your blogroll.
Click on this new blogroll link once.
That will get the url of your page in that person's Statcounter, which will very likely be followed back to your blog!
Immediately after going to that blog, delete its link from your blogroll! Muhuhuhuhahahahhaahah! (Extremely evil laughter)
So am I going to implement this mean trick?
First, I am not 'thaaaaaaaaaat cheap'!
(Does that mean I still am thaaaaat cheap? (see how there are fewer 'a's :-) ))
And besides, I do not want the victim of that trick to come here and read this post do I?
If the victim bloggers see it, do you think they will visit again?
So as long as you find this post on this blog, you can be sure I am not indulging in its execution :)
Yes but if one day you find the post gone, you know why ;-)
Then it will be fun!
Blogger Dumb-el-Dork opens his Statcounter.
"Hmm someone came to my blog from http://saying-private-yarn.blogspot.com/."
"Wonder who linked me..."
"Gotta check it out!"
"Waaaaaaaaow! This blog has such an other worldly feeling!"
"Lizards lurking in the ghostly catacombs...ooh so thrilling!"
"Bollywood jokers' parade. Wow I never saw any of them this close. Its a whole new perspective!!"
"Diamonds! Ooh! I am rich!" (Dumb-el-Dork doesn't realise they are fake gems)
"Whatta place man! Whatta palce! As a bonus I can play with kittes whenever I like"
"Or even have kitty parties with Vidya and Preity! My dream come true!"
Just then Dumb-el-dork has the profound revelation about tail-under-book ritual. He immediately changes his flawed ways. Grows a tail. Places book. Paces up and down.
Immediately...there is a lug at his tail....
"Oh heck what was all that nonsense I was just thinking? What the hell am I doing here anyways? Oh yeah I was linked. Lemme look around where is that link is.."
*removes tail from under the book, to be able to search a wider perimeter*
*look look* *scratch scratch* *look look*..*scratch*...you get the drift right?
"Unreal man! This is unreal! (like that RJ that Cyrus plays in Rang De Basanti) I cant see any link and yet someone came to me from here! Oh this place is divine! Supernatural! Gotta bookmark it!"
*Notice that his tail is not currently tucked under the book. So Dumb-el-dork is unable to think out the true secret of the mystery*
(End of scenario)
For now, I am not going to use this trick. Am working on adding some more 'a' s to 'thaaaaat cheap' that I am.
However, if you are already 'thaaaaaaaaaat cheap', and have managed to come and read this without me using that trick on you, feel most welcome to use it ;-)