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A trickster tricking to get blog ticking!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I stare at my blog stats counters, unblinking.
They stare back, unchanging.

I wonder at my anonymity.
The anonymity of being Stupidosaur.
Even more, about the anonymity of Stupidosaur himself.

Forget about,
"They don't know...who is he...." (Ek Ajnabi)
Its more like,
"They dont know...is he?" (The sequel: Totally Ajnabi)

But someone who read my blogs reminded me on orkut, that even if I cant scratch my head, it does not mean I cant think. After all it isn't like only cats have tails. Reptiles have it too!

So I put my long tail on the table, put a heavy book on the tail, and started walking to and fro in the room.
(Stupidosaurs dont have fine, continuous, voluntary control of their tail. They can use it only to floor somebody in a swift Thapatt! Hence we need the clumsy ritual above to move the tail relative to the body. )

(Some important points I just remembered in this context:
This ritual originated ages ago out of the severe need and desire of stupidosaurs to think.
As evolution proceeded along multiple paths, some evolved beings like cats developed finer voluntary control over their tails in order to get rid of the clumsiness associated with thinking by the above method.
Some other beings like humans misinterpreted it. They thought that the 'thinking' was the result of the part of walking to and fro in the room, and not because of tail movement. So they got rid of the tail itself and simply pace up and down the room when they need to do serious 'thinking'.
Hah! The fools. Little did they know, that though pacing up and down helps in 'thinking', a tail is very necessary to do 'balanced thinking'. Just like a kangaroo uses its tail to keep balance when hopping around.

After all, what do you think caused so may wars? So many tyrannical rules in human history! So many crimes and atrocities! Greenhouse effect! Pollution! And whatnot! Why do you think the Earth is slowly dying at the hands of humans? Its simply because without the tails, the humans have the 'thinking' but no 'balance'! If only they had kept their tails!)

Just as I was getting carried away in these thoughts while getting carried away from the table, a lug at my tail (remember the heavy book on it?) brings me back to earth. (So now you see how the tail and the ritual practically help keep the thoughts in check and balance?)

So now I focus back on thinking about how to get rid of my anonymity, my unknownity.
(Dont go for my neck the regarding grammar. The Stupidosaur neck is so thick, that you would not be able to clasp it half way round, even if you would use your longer limbs for it. Forget about mere hands. Even if there's no such word as 'unknownity', I like how it means and sounds like 'anonymity'. Even more so in the sense I want to convey)
Ah another lug on the tail. Focus. Focus.

Lets see the options:

1) Google:

Till yesterday, Google God only told me about the blogs where Stupidosaur had commented. All search results were like...Stupidosaur said so and so...commented so and so...on such and such's blog. Plus it also had an entry that went like this...

Ultimate Metal Forum - View Single Post - how efffffffing cute is ...
Anyway, look at where this dinosaur was found. I think it's fucking racist. What's next, the Lazysaurus from Africa? Stupidosaur from Poland?www.ultimatemetal.com/forum/819347-post8.html - 12k - Cached - Similar pages

(Oh no this site was supposed to be for family viewing. Thats already ruined by the result quote above!)
Also I cant take a look at the mentioned page cos its blocked from where I am surfing. Anyways the page does not matter. The point is, till yesterday, google result for 'stupidosaur' had nothing about this blog.)

At least today, it has a new entry

Blogger: User Profile: Stupidosaur
Stupidosaur. Occupation: Pre-occupied; Location: India. Why does the taste of pennies remind you of losing a tooth? The taste of penny is so good, ...www.blogger.com/profile/14440677810342540223 - 5k - 18 hours ago - Cached - Similar pages

But still no results about this actual blog.

I guess it will have to wait till the Google bots actually get around to it huh? Till then forget Google. Anyways, who is going to search for an odd word like 'stupidosaur' on Google even when the page starts showing in search?

2) So lets explore 'networking' instead.
I comment at a few posts. Someone finds some comment interesting, clicks on my blogger profile, and from there (hopefully) comes to my blog. This is one good method. In fact some beautiful blog friendships have already resulted from it. Its just like pen-friendship, only faster. But the drawback is that only postal employees could snoop on letters to your pen-friends, here any one can :(

Plus from the point of view of making your blog known, its not very effective. After all how many people would actually notice one measly comment amongst the multitudes?

Another downside is very subjective. It applies to me, may not apply to you. I dont like to comment just for the sake of commenting, or for the sake of making myself 'known'.
(There is good bitchy analysis about commentors here.) I comment only when the blogger is amongst my favourite, or my friend, or if I really have this urge to say something particular about the topic of the post. So my blog isn't gonna go places that way. (Anyways what difference does the blog going anywhere make?)

But lets say even if it does not make any difference to me, the matter of whether my blog is known or not, is important for the sake of the two counters you see on the right. Who knows, if the counters dont get 'job satisfaction', they might desert my blog page. Since I do not pay them, for them counting is 'job satisfaction', and job satisfaction is all that 'counts'!
(Lug at my tail again, just in time. Bless you tail. Bless you book!)

OK so its decided. For whatever reasons, the blog needs to be popularised. Lets look at more alternatives

3) From my own personal experience, I know that in my Statscounter, I am always tempted to see the
a) page from which a visitor reached my blog.
b) physical place from which the person came.

b) only satisfies curiosity
a)
-is useless if the person came from my blogspot comment. cos the path is
blogspot page (with my comment in it)->my blogger profile->my blog, so I can never know which original page led to me, since 'came from' just shows my blogger profile. Unless of course I guess based on the country,city of the IP.
-is useful if the person came from some other blog platform comments, eg the blog of this friend on wordpres. But it has no suspense. I already know the page where I commented.
-is very very useful if anybody has blogrolled me or saved my link say like in their google reader, and came through that link.

The third kind of scenario makes me invariably click back on the page which lead to my page (its link shows in Statscounter)

Based on this, stupidosaur thinks reverse: What if I blogroll people and go to their site from mine? Then just like me, they will always be tempted to follow their statscounter or similar link back to my page, at least once and come to know that there is actually something like http://saying-private-yarn.blogspot.com/. But hey I dont have that much place on my sidebar. And I dont really want to have just any jacko in my blogroll list do I?

So what is the option: Here finally comes the trick the title is talking about.
Add any blogger you come across in your blogroll.
Click on this new blogroll link once.
That will get the url of your page in that person's Statcounter, which will very likely be followed back to your blog!
Immediately after going to that blog, delete its link from your blogroll! Muhuhuhuhahahahhaahah! (Extremely evil laughter)
So am I going to implement this mean trick?
Nope.

First, I am not 'thaaaaaaaaaat cheap'!

(Does that mean I still am thaaaaat cheap? (see how there are fewer 'a's :-) ))

And besides, I do not want the victim of that trick to come here and read this post do I?
If the victim bloggers see it, do you think they will visit again?

So as long as you find this post on this blog, you can be sure I am not indulging in its execution :)

Yes but if one day you find the post gone, you know why ;-)
Then it will be fun!

Blogger Dumb-el-Dork opens his Statcounter.
"Hmm someone came to my blog from http://saying-private-yarn.blogspot.com/."
"Wonder who linked me..."
"Gotta check it out!"
*Click*
Loading....
Thought bubble...
"Waaaaaaaaow! This blog has such an other worldly feeling!"
"Lizards lurking in the ghostly catacombs...ooh so thrilling!"
"Bollywood jokers' parade. Wow I never saw any of them this close. Its a whole new perspective!!"
"Diamonds! Ooh! I am rich!" (Dumb-el-Dork doesn't realise they are fake gems)
"Whatta place man! Whatta palce! As a bonus I can play with kittes whenever I like"
"Or even have kitty parties with Vidya and Preity! My dream come true!"
Just then Dumb-el-dork has the profound revelation about tail-under-book ritual. He immediately changes his flawed ways. Grows a tail. Places book. Paces up and down.
Immediately...there is a lug at his tail....
"Oh heck what was all that nonsense I was just thinking? What the hell am I doing here anyways? Oh yeah I was linked. Lemme look around where is that link is.."

*removes tail from under the book, to be able to search a wider perimeter*
*look look* *scratch scratch* *look look*..*scratch*...you get the drift right?

"Unreal man! This is unreal! (like that RJ that Cyrus plays in Rang De Basanti) I cant see any link and yet someone came to me from here! Oh this place is divine! Supernatural! Gotta bookmark it!"

*Notice that his tail is not currently tucked under the book. So Dumb-el-dork is unable to think out the true secret of the mystery*

(End of scenario)

For now, I am not going to use this trick. Am working on adding some more 'a' s to 'thaaaaat cheap' that I am.
However, if you are already 'thaaaaaaaaaat cheap', and have managed to come and read this without me using that trick on you, feel most welcome to use it ;-)
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14 comments :

Stupidosaur said...

Real boring post!

But the trick itself is interesting

Maryum said...

it is indeed interesting!!! and the post is not boring either.. just a lil too long but i thoroughly enjoyed it.. but thn i m that reader who is friend of the blogger and will post the comment anyways just cuz of the friendship... lol.. kidding..
i dont post comments... 1 saal baad abhi ko comment likha tha.. and 6 mahine baad sayesha ko .. and woh bhi email main.. not on the forum..

u want me to do netwroking/marketing for you? the blogs are good but the comment section on one particular blog is a true entertainer... ;) us blog k comment section ko le kar marketing karen to full chance hai famous hone ka...lol
==>First, I am not 'thaaaaaaaaaat cheap'!

(Does that mean I still am thaaaaat cheap? (see how there are fewer 'a's :-) ))

ROFL..literally..i want to do ur hen laugh here.....

keep on adding those 'A's and i have a feeling that this post is going to vanish soon..lol..

the post was really good.. and i was thinking even if u dont get any reader.. be thankful..u found such a wonderful friend...and that is priceless:)

ps. the bitch blog was goood...she doesnt write anymore?

Maryum said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stupidosaur said...

#maryum

//u want me to do netwroking/marketing for you?

O yeah I forgot you are in PR. Always up to speed on such things huh?


//keep on adding those 'A's and i have a feeling that this post is going to vanish soon..lol..

Yes it is aaj ka naya mathematics

A few a's are equal to one negative post. Adding a's is equal to subtracting post!


//the blogs are good but the comment section on one particular blog is a true entertainer... ;)

you mean all "blogs of blogsphere are good and comment section of one is real entertainer"

or do you mean

"This blog is good and comment section of one post is entertaining"
if so, which one?

What does ROTFL, ROFL, LOL actually mean? (I am an illiterate moron) ( though I do have my own guesses for what they mean)

Aur mere hi blog pe comment ki barsaat kyon? Jyada hariyali to dusrey mahan bloggers ke yahan hai na? I thought it rains where there are more trees and hariyali! (school mein padha tha)

Aur woh B for Blog ki jetni aapko khabar utni hi mujhe hai. I do not have any special connection.

Stupidosaur said...

#author

why was the post removed by the author?
Padhne toh dete aisa kya likh diya? :)

Maryum said...

the author was ME:P
it was just a smiley :) like this
cuz the first time i didnt check the direct comments to email thing.. so to get that.. i had to post a comment again.. and just posted a smiley..checked the followup comments and deleted it.. mil gaya sakoon...btw..how are u.. hows the work going?

Maryum said...

heyyy!!!!!

i meant //This blog is good and comment section of one post is entertaining.//

and i seriously dont know comments ki barsaaat tumhare blog per kyun hai.. i dont even know why i commented on the first blog of urs.. its sooo unlike me.. but ur comment on sayeshaz was rocking.. had to comment..i even emailed sayesha telling her that i loved ur comment(b4 we became friends)... i thought ek baar comment kar k encourage kar deti hoon.. what if noone comments on his blogs and he stops writing? god,.naaaahiiiiiiii...
u reminded me of abhi.. and i miss his posts...
but i m sooo happy that i commented and u replied back and then i msged again and then u did again(u get the idea, dont u?)

but i do know why i dont comment on others k blogs... bheedh main insaann gum jaaata hai.. so if i like a post.. i email that person and let them know k i liked thier post... and kabhi kabhi jab email karne ka mood na ho(i m lazy) tau comment box per shakal dikha deti hoon..

and abt the LOL, ROFL, ROTFL .. i would looooooove to hear what u think they mean....i think i m going to like your version more....so why dont u tell me your version and i will tell you what they really mean...

take care thn
maryum

Stupidosaur said...

yea. work going on. that doc.

Maryum said...

still waiting for ur LOL, ROFL and ROTFL ka meaning...

Stupidosaur said...

I think I am about to disappoint you :).

Since I was actually trying to determine the meanings of these terms, the meanings I assumed are quite boring.

LOL : Laugh out loud!
ROFL : Rolling on floor laughing!
ROTFL: Same as above, but with 'the' in between.

Maryum said...

u made your whole reptile kingdom so proud... never in the history of repltiles have someone ever guessed hum humans k stupid codes... a standing ovation for you... clap clap.. lol

the meaning are correct... and to see what ROFL means literally, u have to have yahoo mseesenger and wahan chat box main click=)) and u will see the cutest emoticon rolling on the floor laughing....

luv
maryum
Ps. i see a new post... yippeee

Stupidosaur said...

Never been on yahoo messenger :P

Am sometimes seen on gtalk.

Ketan said...

This was a most awesome post, Stupidosaur! Especially, the book and the tail scenario. Sorry, can't help--the comments are also interesting. More so than on your recent posts. :)

It's not difficult to make out you were a much happier blogger last year, even with fewer people commenting. :(

MRC said...

WOAH!!!! wait a min while I copy the whole thing...er..wait another minute , have to go put a book somewhere.........................................there!now Im going to slowly follow this step by step...at some unannounced time in the future...so keep blinking at those stats....:D
btw,the word verification for this comment is "talimbor"...could that be a sign?

Also, totally agree with you on the whole commenting thing...I do it too!

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