"I am the best!" was something that had never gone to his head.
But thats only possible if his mind didn't reside in his head.
Aha! That explains!
He opened the details page of the colleague in Outlook for the phone number. He selects the number and does a CTRL-C to copy it. Next he goes to the the phone and and starts hunting for CTRL-V buttons on the keypad!
For two moment his entire being was unthinkingly expecting the number to actually pop up on screen as soon as he did a CTRL-V!
The Monk Behind The Tree (to self): "Hehehehe..I am the monk who sold his Ferrari" (evil grin)
आप मेरी जान लीजिये...
One : Get to know know what my heart is.
Two: What is heart anyways! You may even take my life!
Other ender : Period!
Argument ender (thinking other ender is mock mimicking ) : Period!
Other ender : Great! So as I was saying...
Argument ender : Hey I said "Period!"
Other ender : Together we said it thrice. So that makes it three dots (...). So I took it as an invitation to continue ;)
Rats are not slow. Rats are not steady.
No one wins the rat race.
Slow and steady wins the race.
I am slow. I am steady.
There is no race to win.
Anyways Fail Blog fans will get the twist in the title.
"Thanks for sharing tha knowlege...lekin...
(Damn. I already wrote so much. Am I becoming sane? ****mightly alarmed! runs away!!!!****)
And they mean quite the opposite, isnt it?!!!
Its going to play for me! You'll see!
Akash Ki Koi Seema Nahin...
Toh miyan...arz kiya hai...
Akash Ki Koi Seema Nahin...!
(Wah wah! Wah wah! Bohut Khoob!)
Akash Ki Koi Seema Nahin...
...Hattt Saaaala! Meri bhi koi nahin! :P
Scene 1 , Day 1, Shop 1
Shopkeeper : Aur Kuchh?
Stupidosaur : Bas.
(Shopkeeper turns to other customers.)
(Stupidosaur leaves, but smiles mischeviously just when getting off the shop's steps.)
Scene 2, Day 2, Shop 2
Shopkeeper : Aur Kuchh?
Stupidosaur : Bas.
(Shopkeeper is about to turn to other customers.)
Stupidosaur : Arrey kidhar ja rahe ho?!!! Kaha naa mujhe bas chahiye!
(Shopkeeper with somewhat confused look, is still trying to figure out if Stupidosaur is talking to him)
Stupidosaur : (Acting somewhat angry, in a huff and hurry) Khair rehne do. Bas stop se hi le loonga bas :P!
(Stuipdosaur makes a quick escape to the nearby bus stop and catches the bus that had luckily stopped at that moment. So if shopkeeper realised after a few moments, that what Stupidosaur actually needed was Onnnnnnnnne Tightttttttt Slaaaaaap, it was a few moments too late!)
Waiter : Aur kuchh chahiye sir?
Stupid : Haan. Chahiye.
Waiter : Kya laaoon sir?
Stupid : Ab mujhe ek aisi cheez laa kar do, jo menu mein hai hi nahin!
Waiter : Aisa toh nahin milega sir. Aap menu dekho. Bohot kuchh hai. Sab variety. Menu main se jo bhi mangta hai, sab milega.
Stupid : (acting mighty pissed) Arrey kaisa hotel hai! Menu mein nahin hai to dogey nahin? Arrey customer jo bhi maangey leke aana chahiye. Ho nahin, toh bana key lana chahiye!
Waiter : (trying to appease, tries a different angle) OK sir. Aap bataiye. Mein try karta, kitchen ko bolta.
Stupid : (with a vague generic glint in his eye, a glint so generic, it could be taken to mean anything the onlooker may want it to mean) Lekin, mujhe jo chahiye woh to khana hai hi nahin!
Waiter : (Surely his brain reached the conditon of a just-served sizzler....chhsssssssssss!Phsssssssssssssss!Crackle!Pop!)...errr
Stupid : Mujhe bill chahiye! Bana ke lao! Menu mein likha nahin hai. Fir bhi!
About the title:
Stupid is not an adjective for Shopkeepers.
Its more like Vikram Vetal ;-)
About the labels:
Play 2 and Play 1 Scene 1 have truly happened. Hence the label.
Play 1 Scene 2 haven't. (Yet ;-) ). Hence the label.
Why are you looking at this sentence.
The 'joke' already happened! See the title!
Ok. Just in case that was not enough for you, go read the labels :P
-I am not
-Thinks lot of bullshit when asleep or half asleep
"Give it to me! Give it to me!"
"Whats your name boy?"
"Little Jhonny! Isn't that obvious? You are a character in a joke, and I am the little school boy in that joke! What else could my name be? Such a Stupid question!"
*Since none of the thing in this anecdote actually happened, the other character pretended that the above affront too did not happen. There is a rustle of an attendance record book being flipped through*
"But you have stayed home the whole year!"
"Yes sir! And through all those days, I didn't miss school even once! Not even on weekends!"
(The Dettol ad kinda bored me with its nonsense use dettol->never fall ill->be the kid who never misses school->get some damn prize for it (even if you are otherwise quite dumb and love having dettol on the rocks, with soda :P).
I realised that I do not go to school and don't miss it either .
Hey where's my award!!!!???)
Doesn't mean they don't exist.
There are so many persons inside you that you have never met.
Doesn't mean they don't exist.
Some outside you will never meet, unfortunately.
Some outside you will meet, unfortunately.
Some outside you will never meet, fortunately.
Some outside you will meet, fortunately.
Same goes for the many persons inside you.
('Nothing really related to post title' label because the Inside Out Boy was some cartoon that I used to watch on Nickelodeon)
Then one of them had a bright idea! Why not declare words describing women's innerwear as obscene? After all some specific coloured specimen of these had caused major embarassment to some of their own kind once!
So it was decided that their party activists would go on a rampage and harass shopkeepers who sold such goods and displayed advertisements. The merchants were in serious trouble. If they do not display ads, how would people know what they stocked? Business would badly suffer. Displaying pictures was absolutely out of question! Here even the words were banned!
One such dejected and deeply troubled fellow came to his friend Stupidosaur. Problem solved!
From next day, they started displaying such signs:
१२ & ३५ available !
No they were not referring to sizes of any kind :P
(Hint! Hint! Since the numbers are written in Hindi, they are supposed to be read in Hindi!)
We had a poster making competition today. Pencils, sharpeners, erasers, crayons. Although the setup does sound like schoolkids, many participated, including me.
There were teams. I was one of the few single entries (as usual and as expected and strictly as per ISO standards :P).
The theme was "Your Planet Needs You!"
As expected, there were the usual birds and bees and trees and rivers and rainbows, and ugly industries and cars and smoke, windmills, solar panels, and earth giving sagely advices to humans and such things in almost every poster you saw .
As expected, the weirdo in me lived ;)
Mine was a comic strip sort of.
Pane 1: Earth giving a wide smile and saying"Hi there! Recognise me? Your Planet!". It also had a thought bubble "Damn! Why am I smiling!"
Pane 2: In the next pane, Earth has just filled a glass of water from a water cooler (The kind which have huge inverted 20 litre Bisleri water bottles fitted on top of them.) Its making a disgusted face at the glass a squealing,"Yuck, Something has gotten into my water!". And you can see black things in the water in the glass as well as the transparent inverted bisleri bottle. The black things are shaped like humans - the usual kindergarteng figure: Round head, a straight line, and sticks for ands and legs.
Pane 3: The Earth's eyes are wide in panic. Two humans (again stick figures) are choking its neck. And Earth is screaming, "Gasp! Its choking me. Cant breath! Need fresh clean air!"
Pane 4: The Earths eyes are closed and tight in pain and 'eekiness' (kinda when cockroaches walk over you ;) ). Its shouting (Arrggh! Its walking all over me! And it BURNS!". In this pane, the black stick humans are walking all over the Earth. And there are trees too! But the black stick humans are burning all of them.
Pane 5: The earth is looking at out with big angry eyes and saying, "And you know what IT is? Its YOU!"
Then there are these big highlighted wordings,
"YOUR PLANET NEEDS YOU.." **This was the theme of the contest if you remember ;)**
"..to give up your Stupid ways!" **Yeah yeah! That seems to be my favourite word. Expresses a lot of things ;)**
Well my artwork was not very great. Somewhat (Lot) shabby. But my message was kinda strong and sarcastic and cutting and all that blah. Better than most other messages I think. But then my artwork was shabby. Fair enough considering that I single handedly couloured the area of the poster in 1 hour. Other teams had at least 2-3 hands to cover that much area!
But damn! There was this girl who was again a single entry. At the next table (Cafeteria tables). And I could see that she had made something very pretty. There was some beautifully drawn freehand drawing, which from the angle I could see it, looked like some mythological monster's face too! But within it I could also see factory rooftops and cars and trees and stuff. Drawn in a very cool , neat, artistic way. (Damn girls. Why do they have to be so aesthetically purrfect (Does that mean catty?). Always having pearly handwritings, great at drawing at what not :P ;)) I don't know what her punch line was. But if it was good, I am definitely a goner. I had nothing more than a creative idea. No artistic talent. At least not with crayons and at least not when college lectures are not going on :P (Which you will see if I post pics of things I used to draw with pen during Engineering lectures ;) Not very great. But kinda nice)
Lets see when and what the contest results are. Never underestimate your opponents. They may win. Never overestimate judge's great taste. Even you may win ;).
Anyways, after writing all this stuff, I realised that I digress ;)
Initially I was not going to post the entire real life event. Just a side thought which had occured to me during it.
It reminded me of such a guest at school who called us "Bright Kids Of the Next Generation!"
Errr, sir, no offence, to you or me, but if I am the Bright Kid Of The Next Generation, would that not make me my own grandchild? :P
By the way I didn't just do goofing around and contest playing at the first day of the 'fest' (celebrating Earth destruction). I have also filled a form to pay Rs 300 a month (deducted from my account) every month to Greenpeace. Hope they do something good with it :P
Alphabet - ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPRSTUVWXYZ ------------>
Consonants - BCDFGHJKLMNPQRSTVWXYZ
Vowels - AEIOU
If you just move back a consonant and a vowel...
B C D F G H J K L M-
B C D Q F G H J K L M N P I I
B C Q D F G H J K L M N P T T
B C D F G H J K L M N P Q R S T V W X Y Z
B C D F G H J K L Q IA E I O U
B C D F Q G H J K L M N P C C
B C D F G Q H J K L M N P K K
B C D F G H Q J K L M N P S S
B C D F G H J Q K L M N P I! I!
There's just a little difference between the two!
No, I am not sick of blogging. You would have realised that if you have carefully read this post I wrote yesterday/night, or atleast if you have carelessly read its comments.
The actual story:
Statcounter tells me that some newcomers to this blog have been busy past week clicking all labels on the right panel.
But the thing is, for almost whole of 2008 (or for whatever half of it I was actually blogging), I hardly put labels on my post. The most interesting ones probably went without a label.
So I am going to go back and label each and every post!
Also, there are likely to be a lot of unanswered comments in the old posts, inspite of the blurb you see at the top of the right hand panel. Reasons:
1) I am lazy
2) I am busy (Ha!)
3) I have never set up an email notification for comments. So if someone comments on an old post here , its usually raat gayi, baat gayi.
Of course, after this excercise, I just might set up the email notification.
Or maybe I will take up such excercise periodically in future. So you can still comment on old posts ;)
Basically, I am going to answer all comments on all posts till date!
Another thing is, you hardly see any awards strewn about on this blog. Not because they never offered, but because I never bothered :P. Reasons:
1) Ditto reason 1) of No Comments
2) Ditto reason 2) of No Comments
3) I care not about them awards (Which further has lots of reasons. But if I mention all those here, what will I write a book about! ;) Kidding)
But then, I have decided to change this policy, at least for now, till the time I again change this policy. Reasons:
1) Some stray human gene in the reptile sometimes nags and induces vague impressions of thoughts like Maybe Not Collecting Awards Kinda Hurts Those Who Give Them
2) I sometimes go about mocking and mucking in comment sections of others in posts where they go Yazoooppah! Igotenawad! Just in case these guys trace back to this blog from their posts, they should not form the misunderstanding that its a case of Grapes Are Sour.
So, as I go through past comments, I am going to collect all awards you people have offered me earlier, by following through on the award notification comments.
Mads, I will collect the new award from you when I am done with the above.
So all those folks who receive feeds on every sneeze of mine on this blog, your inboxes (or whatever it is) are in for a nasty week ahead !
Yeah! Call me Stupid! :P ;)
Spoke the Bloodyangry Disgruntled Fuming Stranger Juliet Girl, "Hey you twerp! Stop staring at me!"
Said our Geeky Physicist Smartass Romeo Jerk, "You are complaining? On what grounds? You do not own the photons or waves of light that are reflected from you. I was just standing here collecting photons. They are universal public property. If you own them, why don't you just order them to go loiter elsewhere?
At this, the Mister thought he's Missing something.
The Miss wondered at the Mistery.
(Then they got bored and the Mister started hitting on the Miss.)
He tried biting it off.
He kept on struggling with it...on and on and on and on....and then some.
Just then then she came by, serenely floating on her Hawaii Chappals. And it opened!
Because she gave it a twist!
(This is just a spoof on a person who commented on a blogger friend's 55 fiction that his 55 fictions are so predictable since they always END WITH A TWIST!)
(This is also a spoof on the concept of 55 fiction. Read the label for the post. If you are still not convinced, be my guest and count the words! If they are 55, let me know so that I can take the opportunity and be highly surprised. I have not tried to make them 55 or non 55 )
(Hey wait, maybe this is 55 fiction really. Because WORDS USED by me were 55. Others I simply threw about and wasted. I didn't USE them ;) )
You are totally free to reuse this idea to make a 55 fiction to shut the person up ;). Cause mine isn't really a 55 fiction, so you making one will not amount to stealing ;) )
One comment by Mads indicates that the post is a little misleading. I am not pulling SIM's leg.
I just gave him idea to combat his detractors :)
The label Doofus relates to the dumb guy in the story, though i now realise its attribution can be misunderstood here. I though of making it a label because I sensed it will find a lot of future application on my blog, sometimes on Fictional Characters, sometimes on Real Characters, but most of the time on this Stupidosaur Character, who is hard to classify in either category ;)
And yeah, apart from that the post mocks 55 fiction format. 'Formats' basically make me feel like this ;P
(Thats a very special emoticon, not a typo variant of :P or ;) )
They've got Alu!!!!!!
These are Chips too!!!!!!!!!
They too've got ALU !!!!!!!!!!!!
(conceptual diagram of an Arithmetic Logic Unit of a microprocessor)
That is what Stupidosaur does.
He bugs to no end any given intelligent life form that dares exist in his vicinity for a finite measurable time.
Case in point:
Time: Today afternoon.
Venue: The usual (Office Cafeteria).
Stupidosaur's back, which perhaps doesn't like to watch TV, is facing away from it. As a result, the TV, and some goreous bolywood actresses in it have grabbed this golden opportunity to look deep into Stupidosaur's eyes, which were hence facing them.
Just then, an unsuspecting Life Form arrives in the cafeteria and suddenly finds itself without the usual other Life Forms of its herd, with whom it feeds daily. Having not crossed paths with Stupidosaur often, and having totally failed to register the significance of the fact that all the chairs in the vicinity of Stupidosaur usually remained empty, the Life Form adjusted its Glutei Maximi (of course, with no tail between them) on a nearby chair. The empty chair had been happily orbiting Stupidosaur's table with zero velocity, until the the Life Form came along.
The back of this Life Form seemed to rather like watching TV. So Stupidosaur's nose and The Life Form's back merrily watched the TV while Stupidosaur's mouth uttered inconsequential innanities like...
"So, who do you think is gonna win this IPL?"
"Did you know Katrina Kaif may go and get a tonsure for one of her new roles?"
"So , do you think today's meeting will be cancelled?" (If it interests the reader, I would like to inform that it indeed got cancelled later on)
...and so on.
Just then Stupidosaur started looking at the TV with renewed interest, as if totally enthralled!
"Wow!...Look at that! The army of black bugs and army of white bugs is having a gala time fighting out an epic battle!"
At this the Life Form's head turned towards the TV, much to the annoyment of its back, whose peaceful Telly-watching thus got rudely interrupted! Just a few moments later, there came the head's turned to get annoyed, and in annoyment it started blasting words at the Stupidosaur.
"What black and white bugs! The transmission seems to have gone kaput! Its just showing static!"
Stupidosaur: "Exactly! That."
After a short processing time, it dawns upon the Life Form and it gives an irritated part-grin.
Then Stupidosaur's system hangs up for a while, after which it utters, "So who do you think will win?"
"What? IPL? I already told you. Just a little while ago. Rajasthan Royals!"
(Yes please forgive the Life Form. It has been very busy with work last fortnight, and doesn't exactly know the current affairs)
"No, not that. The bugs war. Who will win it"
"No. Black! Eventually they will switch off the TV"
Yeah. Bugs Life. Stupidosaur does!
BTW, I have tried to get inspired from Doulgas Adams in the style of my narrative above, although I know its nowhere close to him in its humour, wordplay, sentence construction, weirdness, or complexity of plot or even readability :P)
Hope one day I grow up to be like him. (Except the part where he dies at 49 years of age due to myocardial infraction caused by constricted capillaries :P)
And since I am eating many of them, I am basically eating Dadams.
The coincidence is, that at the same time, I am reading a book whose author's name is
D.Adams (Thats Douglas Adams for you)
Whether Universe expands or not, this thing definitely did ;)....
Basically, the Mad Scientist kept a perfectly normal half litre bag of milk in some remote corner of his kitchen and completely forgot about it. Four summer nights and four summer days it lay there, before it was discovered in the state you see above.
Einstein said so. Or rather proved so.
And experiments (some of which killed many) showed so.
And there is a Law Of Conservation Of Mass-Energy.
Then again Space and Time are equivalent.
Einstein said so. Or rather proved so.
Infact he said so before he said the thing above.
And infact derived the thing above from this thing.
And experiments have shown so. (Though confirmatory ones are in the works I understand)
And perhaps there is a some Law of conservation of Space-Time too then?
Maybe we can get to it mathematically starting from Law of Conservation of Mass-Energy?
This is what my (perhaps baseless, or maybe not) intuition says the Law of Conservation of Space-Time may be like...
Total of Space and Time in the Universe remains constant.
So when there is more Space in the Universe, there will be less Time (or less Time Flow?) in the universe. So as the Universe goes on expanding (as it is currently known to be doing), the Overall Time Flow* in it is perhaps getting slower and slower, although we cannot notice it ?Scientists perhaps have not noticed it bcause just like there is lot of energy equivalent to a little mass, there is very tiny time slowing for lots of space expansion? And anyways, if all the clock (atomic too! especially atomic ones actually!) are slowing down at that small rate, how will we know unless we have one clock outside the universe? OK coming back to the original matter Expanding space perhaps means slowing time flow. And when space expands a lot (say infinite, or say something finite, just like the finite speed of light is for physics infinite!), time will stop. Effectively, Universe will be dead, or at least in coma, until (if at all) by some reason it starts contracting and time starts flowing!
OK so we killed the Universe. What about birth? Say there really was something called the Big Bang. Before the Universe 'unfurled' at the Big Bang, it was contained, compressed in some sort of an infinitecimal egg, so to speak. According to one prevelant school of thought, both Space and Time came into existence only at the Big Bang. Before that, there was Nothing. So then we reach the wall of what is this Nothing? What was 'really there' before the Big Bang? Here scientists find themselves internally fumbling and externally blabbering like Religion folks.
But if Law of Conservation of Space-Time can really be derived from Law of Conservation of Mass-Energy, then we get a different perspective. (Eistein reached mass-energy domain from space-time domain. I am talking of trying a reverse idea. Applying reverse kinda mathematical transforms and physics equations, starting from mass energy conservation equation), then it would mean this:
When universe was packed into an infinitecimal space ( or maybe a 'finitecimal' space, like finite speed of light ;) ), time effectively flowed at an infinite rate. So basically, any given 'moment' was actually infinite time. So the state of the Universe 'just before' the Big Bang or 'at' Big Bang could have existed over infinite time, over 'reverse eternity'! There does not have to be anything before the Big Bang. A scientific perspective on the Nothing before the Big Bang!
There are lots of Conclusions, Corollaries, Criticisms, Ifs and Buts about this idea running in my mind right now. Many of them are hazy. But those clearly visible and audible in my head right now are these:
1) If this principle is true, then is the Universe we see is nothing but a process of conversion of all Time Flow into all Space?
2) One prevelant view is that all the known and yet unknown laws of physics came into existence a few moments after the big bang (Some of them also give exact picoseconds (or some even greater negative power of ten) or something after big bang when this supposedly happened!). They say that at the big bang, all known laws of physics break down. Which basically means any weird thing can happen? And everthing happens just so? Just so means 'divinely'? Ah folks isn't that the domain of Religion? If the law I described is true and can be proved, and we backtrack things without making (perhaps unscientific) assumptions of laws (including this law) breaking down, then we get a scientific, consistent perspective at the origin of the universe? All other laws could also be extended back within the framework of this conservation principle?
3) Universe need not be space+time only as is currently assumed. That Space+Time need not have come to existence all of a sudden at big bang. There can be an all space and all time universe. They are two boundaries of universe existence, beyond which it does not exist.
4) There are also existing notions of Universe cooling down as it is expanding, owing to thermodynamics. So there is this notion of Universe totally cooling down - Heat Death of the Universe. Wonder how the proposed Time Death (all time flow converted to space, only space left but no time) of the universe relateds to the Heat death. Are they two different things? Like Cancer, Heart Attack, Gradual Tissue Degeneration are all different causes of Death?
Damn how I am itching to try the 'reverse derivation' right now! How I wish I had more exposure to the mathematics of such physics. All I did was study Engineering and make myself into a Stupid IT guy, and presently provide my services to increase the Stupid savings of an Insurance company through computer solutions :P!
* I am saying Overall Time Flow because under relativistic phenomenon, time flows different in different frames of motion, but may be there is some way of its Overall mathematical treatment across the Universe? Hey I know thats sounding Classical Newtonish absolute kind of thing rather than Relativistic, but if it is such an absurd idea, then scientist talking about 'age of universe' and stuff are basically giving bullshit. If they are not bullshitting, then there is some weight to my idea, though I don't know the technicalities :P)
1) I am very good a forecasting future trends and fads.
2) I always try to look exactly like the most famous celebrity.
3) So I knew Zoozoos will become the most popular celebrities and hence I was working really hard since last two years to look exactly like them - untoned floppy limbs, a big ballooning tummy, and a stupid round face!
The first two points are big fat lies.
So is the third point true or a big 'fat' lie?
Anyways, as has been the recent trend, whenever I label a post as 'Nothing really related to post title', I also make it a point to make that label inapplicable. So this is how the title is actually related to the post:
In some cultures, they pronounce 'J' and 'Y' sound/write 'Y' sound as 'J' (whichever way you want to look at it :P)
eg. Benjamin pronounced as Benyamin, Hallelujah pronounced as Halleluyah!
So I have taken the linguistic liberty and formulated new rules:
'Z' sound can be written as 'H' or 'Y'.
'H' and 'Y' letters are to be pronounced as 'Z' sound.
Besides, looking like a celebrity is a matter of rejoicing, aint it ! So ..
Bye. I need to go soosoooo!
So again (as usual) I was watching the IPL in the office cafeteria .
Today's teams: Mumbai Indians vs Kings XI Punjab.
There I was, nicely devouring the food and the sights and sounds.
Suddenly I was interrupted by a thought (an irritating thought actually!): Chetan Bhagat!
At that point in the match, KXIP were playing at the run-rate of 5.71. Thats why!
Five Point Seven One.
Five Point Sevm One.
Five Point Some One.
Thats why I thought about him.
Here is what I think about him:
I read only1 book of his: Five Point Someone.
Its a bland blearrrrghhish book.
Nothing ever happens.
No drama, no suspense, no romance, no spook, no great philosophy, no beautiful wordplay.
He sells because thats the kind of book MAJORITY are hardly CAPABLE of reading I guess :P.
If I read a book or watch a for free and still I claim not to like it, it probably means it was genuinely bad.
I read this one for free. My roomie had bought it.
I guess it didn't stand a miniscule chance to get liked by me because it was nowhere in the league of other books I was reading in those same 15-20 days:
Shalimar the clown (roommate's)
Black Friday - true story of Bombay bomb blasts (roommate's)
Some Stephen King book (purchased from waste paper mart)
BTW I WILL NOT BLOG FOR AROUND 10 DAYS
Did I accidentally miss the commas between between "the worse", "the best" and "the better"?
Is the "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly" a sentence?
Is "The worse the best the better!" a sentence?
Yes it is.
Still not making sense? It will, with a bit reference to context...
I was half-interestedly watching the opening of KKR batting in IPL yesterday night while aving dinner in the office canteen. I call it 'yesterday night' for the simple reason that its past midnght now :P
They were showing the statistics of the opening pair: McCullum and Gayle. I am a person who does not follow anything very keenly, especially things which everybody follows keenly. So I don't really know what big stars these two blokes are. I was just judging them based on the numbers I saw then.
McCullum IPL statisctics:
Best: Something above 150
Total: Something around 250
Average: Around 30
(Please note: All quantities are in 'run' units*
250/30= around 8
These 100 were made in the 7 innings other than the 'highest score' 'fluke' innings.
So basically his IPL average was around 100/7, ie. 10-15 runs :P according to me!
Gayle on other hand had a similar 30ish average. But his 'best' score was not very hight flying one like McCullum. Which meant that his average was actually what it appeared to be, unlike McCullum's which was quite a bloated one! This made me think Gayle will probably make more runs than McCullum in the match.
Thats when the profound sentence came in my head: With other factors remaining the same...
"The worse the best the better (it is)!"
Anyways, I think I wrote better IPL posts last year around this time. Example:
If you want more, just click on the label Cricket, which is same as clicking on this: