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The secret of the absent minded professor!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009
"I am the best!" was something that was always present somewhere at the back of his mind.
And yet...
"I am the best!" was something that had never gone to his head.
But thats only possible if his mind didn't reside in his head.

Aha! That explains!
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Two rules

Saturday, December 19, 2009
Do!
Bear with me.

Don't!!
Bull with me.

Preference for stock markets should be opposite though.
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Not that it matters :P

Sunday, December 6, 2009


You too can get a free decoration here!!!!!!!!!!!!
---->The Political CompassTM,<----
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Stupid is as Stupid does!

Saturday, November 28, 2009
Stupidosaur needed to call a particular colleaguosaur. The push-button phone with LCD display was right on his desk. But he didn't have the number.

He opened the details page of the colleague in Outlook for the phone number. He selects the number and does a CTRL-C to copy it. Next he goes to the the phone and and starts hunting for CTRL-V buttons on the keypad!
For two moment his entire being was unthinkingly expecting the number to actually pop up on screen as soon as he did a CTRL-V!



This was the height of laziness, stupidity and technology induced fried brain.

Well, actually it could be the next technological innovation too :P
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Profit and Earth

Friday, November 20, 2009
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Sell all of it a 300 % profit (slurp!).
Die of scurvy.
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The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

Sunday, November 15, 2009
The Head Monk (shrieks at everyone) : "Oiii! Where's my Ferrari?!!!!! Its disappeared! That big fat businessman gifted it to me just a week back!"


The Monk Behind The Tree (to self): "Hehehehe..I am the monk who sold his Ferrari" (evil grin)
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Smooth Tongued

Wednesday, November 11, 2009
If your doctor calls you that, its not a compliment. It just means you probably have B12/Folate deficiency :P
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Two-in-One in the days of LP

दिल चीझ क्या है
आप मेरी जान लीजिये...

One : Get to know know what my heart is.

Two: What is heart anyways! You may even take my life!
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Period...!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Argument ender : Blah Blah Blah! Period!
Other ender : Period!
Argument ender (thinking other ender is mock mimicking ) : Period!
Other ender : Great! So as I was saying...
Argument ender : Hey I said "Period!"
Other ender : Together we said it thrice. So that makes it three dots (...). So I took it as an invitation to continue ;)
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Hello! How do you do?

Monday, November 2, 2009
"Why do you ask? Its none of your business :P"
"Of course its not my business! I rather think of it as my job ;)"
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Isn't arranged marriage against the principle of natural selection & evolution?

Yes/No?
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Win Fail

Thursday, October 15, 2009
Slow and steady wins the race.
Rats are not slow. Rats are not steady.
No one wins the rat race.


Slow and steady wins the race.
I am slow. I am steady.
There is no race to win.


Anyways Fail Blog fans will get the twist in the title.
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General Knowledge of Fishing

Thursday, October 8, 2009
"There are plenty of other fish you know!"
"Thanks for sharing tha knowlege...lekin...


Jab Dil Hi Toot Gaya...
Hum GK kya karenge...!"












------------------------------------


PS: Somebody from Singapore landed on the main page of this blog by google search of  'loma 280 score'! LOL!


PPS: Is she called Lola Kutty because she is such a LOL!a Kutty?
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Being sane is insane!

What are you looking at? Title is all I meant to write. Insane people don't write anything in post body :P

(Damn. I already wrote so much. Am I becoming sane? ****mightly alarmed! runs away!!!!****)
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Free

Wednesday, October 7, 2009
I dont owe anything to the world.
And 'owing something to my own self' sounds like an absurd creditor-debtor equation anyways.

Chill!
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Life...

Sunday, October 4, 2009
Its fragile.
Its sturdy.
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Lost Into The Mirror World In Transaltion!!

Saturday, October 3, 2009
I saw you, and I realized...
Life is sunshine, while You are a deep dark shadow.

That sounds like life is pleasant, while You is quite a vile person, like Voldemort or Sauron . But actually I have merely translated the lines of a Hindi song....

तुमको देखा, तो ये ख़याल आया...
जिंदगी धूप, तुम घना साया |

And they mean quite the opposite, isnt it?!!!

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Bachna Ae Haseeno...LOMA Aa Gaya! Part 1

Friday, October 2, 2009
Oops I meant

...Lo Main Aaa Gaya...Kyonki LOMA chala gaya!!!

Ye LOMA LOMA kya hai? Ye LOMA LOMA?
LOMA ka matlab I'L(L TELL) U I'L(L TELL) U!

For one, LOMA is what I wrote with 'typo' as LMAO in previous post ;).

But what is LOMA anyways?

Well, till 8-9 months back even I didn't know or care what LOMA is.
Now I know, but doesn't mean I care ;). Of course I know, but not exactly. Probably because I don't care! Not really care.

Then how did I find myself in the middle of this LOMA mess? Of course I haven't yet explained "What LOMA mess?" either, but I guess both will be answered together!

As some of the old folks here, and some of the new folks who have 'grown old with the blog' acceleratedly will know, I got into a new job a little less than a year ago. At the new place, our customer, who is an insurance and finance giant, and for whom I write stupid business programs on mainframe computers, prefers all puny little beings who work for it to be 'LOMA certified'.

Did you just ask what the heck is 'LOMA certified'? OK OK again I am running ahead of myself. Lets get some basics out of the way...

Well LOMA is some (pretty big) association that conducts research and educational activities to help its member financial companies and their people work better.

Here are some more details if you really want to know...


So if you read the first question amongst the FAQs you will realise that LOMA is an association which itself doesn't know any more what LOMA acronym currently stand for ! ;-)

I myself have not read most of the above two links. If you do find something interesting in them , (though I really doubt if that is possible!) tell me about it in the comments section ;-)

Now that we have the generic stuff out of the way and out of sight and out of mind, lets get back to my life's connection with LOMA.

Because client prefers employees to have it so that they understand better what the heck they are doing/programming, my manager had set one of my annual goals as 'getting LOMA 280 certification'. Half yearly appraisal went by and I had not met this goal (but appraisal was a normal decent one, don't worry ;) ) So I registered for it 3 months back and got a big 400 page book to study, with same title and topics in the course link I gave above. Book can be obtained from company library only after paying course fees (licence issues) and once the fees are paid (40 US $) you have only 3 months to study and clear the exam. The fees are deducted from salary. If you clear the exam in 3 months, company refunds them otherwise they are lost.

400 (full size) pages and 3 whole months may sound pretty easy, but throw in 9 official hours in office per day (10-11 hours actually due to deadlines etc :P), huge tendency to waste free time online, a Stupid person, and a kind of subject that Stupid doesn't really like, then its not such a piece of cake!

My 3 months to give the exam were ending on 30 Sep. That is why I stopped blogging 3 weeks back.

The good news is, I cleared the stupid exam on 30th, with 97 % score.
Nice. But pretty inconsequential :P.


Well, if its such a pointless exam, why did I apparently get so serious about it?
1) Confidence building activity. I can do anything I want to do, or need to do even if I may not really care to do it.
2) I was spending too much time online. Proved self restraint.
3) When I joined the company, within a month or so I got the nickname of Don. Of course that Don is always preceded by 2 syllable abbreviation of my name, which I will not mention here ;). Stupid Don doesn't sound well either so not mentioning it with that representative modification either ;). However, along with that compact consolidated compliment, I was have also been at the receiving end of hostilities from my colleagues, precisely for being SO AWESOME! There were also some slanders about me being just a phoney. But I have got an 'IN YOUR FACE!!!' attitude and so never miss any opportunity to show them that I really am SO AWESOME!!! Of course showing off to them is just an added advantage. I do good for myself in the process ;)
4) I would and would not like to do higher studies like MBA or MS. I have different pro and con reasons for both of them. I may or may not blog about them some day. I may or may not do one of the two things one day. But at least studying for this exam brought me in contact with academics after 4 years, which does good to confidence (which I already mentioned in point 1). So if I do the course some day, I will have the memory of these few days of intense reading to boost me up.
5) I had become a horribly nocturnal and indoor (office + home) creature, sometimes sleeping as late as 4-4:30 in the night, then simply waking up and going to work. For studying I experimented with early morning studies and found mornings to be beautifully exhilarating! I have even taken some early morning pics which I may post on my photography blog (which I have not started yet). I studied on terrace, benches under trees etc. So nocturnal and indoor tendencies have reduced. Even after the exam on 30th I have woken early/been out more. My energy at work has increased in spite of hectic schedules **
6) I was trying out a new technique of 'motivation' 'self restraint' etc. I publicly declared that I will not blog for three weeks. If I did, it would be INCREDIBLY STUPID. So imagine if I did blog, and I did do bad at LOMA 280 and also maybe at the hectic work deadlines ** that I have these days! Then I would know that I did act INCREDIBLY STUPID, and that too everyone is quite aware about it. That post might have bit at me in times to come. So by writing that post, I had checkmated myself in public. Expect that I will use similar technique in times to come! (Of course I did bloghop and comment around (though very little) and also chatted/emailed some blog fellows who correspond with me on id write.to.stupidosaur@gmail.com. I guess thats why I got 97% and not 100%. It was an objective test after all! Damn!

P.S. : From comments in last post, it seems some of you actually thought I was on a vacation. If anything work** has been a lot more hectic :P.

** Continuation Part 2 post on bad workloads during these same 'no blogging' and LMAO oops typo' days. Though it will probably not be as long. I will only be dumping what I am not adding to this one due to lack of time. Going to sleep now. Bye!



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Vacation from Blog*

Thursday, September 10, 2009
Will not blog for 3 weeks.
Busy LMAO.
Oops! Typo!


*When you are on a vaction from work, you usually don't work. But no one will stop you if you work even on vacation. However that would be INCREDIBLY STUPID!!!!

Similarly, when on vacation from blog, I won't usually blog. But no one will stop me if I blog. However that would be INCREDIBLY STUPID!!!!
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Don't annoy me with your Kit-Kat!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009
How come they never broke up?

Simple! Whenever she said, "Uggh! Give me a break!", he gave her a Kit-Kat!

(That solved things, naturally!)


--------------------------------------
Ok Nestle guys, you gotta pay me for this cheesy chocolatey idea now!
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Don Ka Dushman

Friday, September 4, 2009
Read very carefully.....

Are Diwano, Mujeh Pehechano,
Kahan Se Aaya, Mein Hoon Kaun,
Mein Hoon Kaun, Mein Hoon Kaun,
Mein Hoon Kaun, Mein Hoon Mein Hoon Mein Hoon Kaun?

Don Don Don Don Don

Mein Hoon Don, Mein Hoon Don,
Mein Hoon Mein Hoon Mein Hoon Don..

Are Tumne Jo, Dekha Hai, Socha Hai, Samjha Hai, Jaana Hai
Voh Mein Nahin.. Voh Mein Nahin..
Logon Ki, Nazron Ne, Mujhko Yahan Jo Bhi Maana Hai,
Voh Mein Nahin.. Voh Mein Nahin...
Awaara Badal Ko Saudaayi Paagal Ko, Duniya Mein Samjha Hai Kaun,

Are Deewano Mujeh Pehechano, Zara Pehechano, Mein Hoon Don..

Are Yaaron Ka, Jo Yaar Hoon, Yaari Mein Yeh Jaan Luta De Tho,
Mein Hoon Vohi, Mein Hoon Vohi...
Dushman Kaa Dushman Hun Voh, Dushman Ke Chhakke Chhuda De Jo,
Mein Hoon Vohi, Mein Hoon Vohi...
Tum Jaano, Na Jaano, Maine Tho Jaana Hai, Mahefil Mein Kaisa Hai Kaun,

Are Deewano Mujeh Pehechano, Zara Pehechano, Mein Hoon Don..

Are Maine Kya, Socha Hai, Kya Khaab Hai Meri Aankhon Mein,
Tum Jaano Naa, Tum Jaano Naa,
Maine Bhi Badla Hai, Kya Rang Baaton Hi Baaton Mein,
Tum Jaano Naa, Tum Jaano Naa,
Chehere Pe Chehera Hai, Parde Pe Parda Hai,
Duniya Mein Samjha Hai Kaun,

Are Deewano, Mujeh Pehechano, Zara Pehechano, Mein Hoon Don,
Mein Hoon Don, Mein Hoon Don,
Mein Hoon Mein Hoon Mein Hoon Don


Did you notice someting above? All the lines in the song are equally applicable to Don, You and Me, except the bold ones.

People know not where Don comes from, nor who he is. Ditto You and Me!
Don isn't exactly what he appears to be. Ditto You and Me!
No one has understood the free spirited opportunistic and insane Don. Ditto You and Me!
Don feels he would do anything for a friend. Ditto You and Me!

Its the lines in bold that are the key differentiator between Don and the rest of us.

Dushman Kaa Dushman Hun Voh, Dushman Ke Chhakke Chhuda De Jo,
Mein Hoon Vohi, Mein Hoon Vohi...

Thus, Don was is like Abraham Lincoln of the Eunuchs of the Enenmy. He freed them!!! ;)
Have you ever done anything like that? Me neither!



That means, if Don Ka Dushman had not put his Chhakkas in jail, or if Don Ka Dushman had not Enslaved his Chhakkas (we don't really know what Don freed the Chhakkas
from - jail, slavery or something else) then Don would never have got to do his one single glorious deed. The above song wouldn't have been composed. Don would then be just another loser nobody. No threat for his Dushman!

But instead Don defeated Don Ka Dushman.

"Oh yeah? Don and what army?"
"Don and his Army Of Chhootey Huey Dushman Ke Chhakkey!"


Matlab ki...

Don ke Dushman Ki Sabse Badi Galati Yeh Hai...
...Ki Woh Don Ka Dushman Hai!
...Ki Usne Chhakkon Ko Jail Mein Daal Diya ya Enslave Kar Diya!

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The Play

Thursday, September 3, 2009
The best part of the whole game is, I don't even care about it!
-Stupidosaur
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The right angle on the love triangle

Sunday, August 30, 2009
One heroine, two heroes.
a) Both heroes love the same heroine. They call it a love triangle.
b) One hero loves the heroine. But the heroine loves the other hero. They call it a love triangle.

One hero, two heroines.
a) Both heroine love the same hero. They call it a love triangle.
b) One heroine loves the hero. But the hero loves the other heroine. They call it love triangle.

Love triangle?
Not really!

Cases a) We have two 'straight' lines, from the two people A & C of sex 1 to the single person of the other sex 2. That my friends, makes it an angle ABC, not triangle.

Cases b) We have one 'straight' line from person A of sex 1 to person B of sex 2, and then another 'straight' line from person B of sex 2 to person C of sex 1. That my friends, again makes it an angle ABC, not a triangle!


A triangle ABC is possible in extension of either of these cases only when additionally we have a 'line' between person A & C (matlab A ne C pe line marna chahiye, ya C ne A pe ).

But A & C are of the same sex 1.
So one of the two must be gay or bisexual!

Was this true in any of the movies they sold you with the theme of 'love triangle'?
No! I don't think so!

So you have been fooled all along friends!
Go dance!

'Love triangle'? Cute term!
BUT ITS WRONNNGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!


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Double whammy

Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The guy got a squint.
The guy didn't get a girl.
Single girls he saw as double.




-----------------------------------
P.S.: In comment section of the post How To Get Fired For Dummies, one commenter wanted more such Boss jokes.

About a year ago, I used to make many. Here are some more:


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Yeah

Humans are funny.

I laugh.
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Right Said Fred!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009
"With great power comes great responsibility."
- Uncle Ben

"But the converse is not true"
- Stupidosaur

"Unless you are Mr. Frodo"
-Sam Gamgee

"I am Frodo!"
-Stupidosaur

"Yeah right!"
-Stupid Alter Ego

"And you neither have nor take great responsibility!"
-Frustrated Dad

"You'll see!"
-Stupidosaur


P.S. I love bore you (as usual)...
..explaining the cause of the label 'Nothing really related to the post title':

"Right said!" is applicable to each of the characters above, but none of them is Fred. FRustrated dAD could be made into FRAD but not Fred. And we do have a mention of Frodo, but he doesn't say anything. Even if he did, he's Frodo not Fred.

Anyways, in case you didn't know, and whether you wanted to know or not,

Right Said Fred is a pop band.

This is my favourite amongst their songs:





Its going to play for me! You'll see!
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How To Get Fired for Dummies

Friday, August 7, 2009
Boss said:
"Stop playing the fool and do some work!"

Dummy said:
"Sir, I am a firm follower of the supreme ideology of
'Work while You work and play while You play'
If you work, I work. If you play, I play!"

Boss said
"You are Dummy/Fired!"
------------------------------

Please note: How to Get Fired for Smarties tutorial doesn't exist. Smarties resign and leave the Boss in a lurch instead.
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Rakhi Celebrations!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Rakhi got tied by 'engagement knot'* to Elesh Parujanwala. But not by his soon to be married sister.

I have not watched this show. I don't have TV.

But I am surprised that the show ended without Mika being given a wild card entry as a candidate.TRPs would have reached a number humans haven't named yet! How could Rakhi miss on such a gimmick :P.

On the sides, this TV swayamwar contest isn't new idea. MTV had such a show. The bride-to-be was some Asian celebriity with chinky eyes (that is to clarify- not Indian Asian). And the added TRP factor? The celebrity lady was a bi. So both guys and girls were competing for her! I don't remember the bride-to-be's name.

But the show wasn't on Indian MTV. A coincidence is that I saw a few episodes when I was in Canada for 3 months. The same country where Rakhi and her 'fiance' are 'suppposed' to be going to attend marriage of her 'would-be-sister-in-law' .

The quotes indicate this: :P

You can find a related/unrelated post of mine here **



* They don't teach this knot in military or paramilitary training.
** Since you are going to that post from this one, the end may not be as much fun. Or it may be.

P.S: Stay tuned for: Rakhi ka breakup. (Not on this blog. On TV :P)
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Feelosophy

Monday, August 3, 2009
I feel...

...The world would run a lot better if decisions are reached rather than made.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------



On the sides...

...A person of many coulours need not be a chameleon. Could be a rainbow.
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Damn!

Saturday, August 1, 2009
I don't give a damn!

How can I? I just don't possess any 'damn' to give!

But then again, when I say "Curse you!" then I am giving a curse, sort of.

So when I say "Damn you!", does that mean I am giving a damn?

So is the other person better off when I give a damn or don't give a damn?

;)


P.S. : This is purely fictional thought. I dont swear or damn or curse.

:) **angel ring on the head**

Yeah, but its true that I don't give a damn ;)

On the sides, I don't possess any 'company'. But I do occasionally give 'company' to people! Does that make me a fraud ??? ;)
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The Chinese guy disappointed!

Guess what?
Our Chinese guy of the below post was searching for his favourite kind of grub.
He thought he had hit the holy grail when he found the below website url:

He was so disappointed when he actually went to the website!
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One woman's poison is another man's...

Tuesday, July 28, 2009
North Indian Aunty: "Oye Kalmuhe! Kambakhqt! Keeedey Padey Tere Mooh Mein, Keeday!"

Chinese Guy :"Thank you, thank you" (Slurp!)
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He is gone. But the Pain lives on. And an Identity Crisis born.

Sunday, July 26, 2009
This Pain is alive...



They too are all alive (I think)...



This P.A.I.N lives...


And This-Pain is very much alive too...


But King of Pop is dead. Gone. Absolutely...




BUT NOW...PITHIDINE (ALIAS DEMEROL) IS HAVING A SERIOUS IDENTITY CRISIS.
It was supposed to be a Pain Killer.
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For 'Busy' People...

Sunday, July 12, 2009
...(On gtalk etc)...

"Busy is a four letter word, just like Wolf.
Sometimes, it is difficult to tell.
Especially at times like this..."

-Stupidosaur


(When I messaged this to the person, immediate reply was
"Go on...:)" )
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Bibd Blowig!

When you have cold, your m & n's come to sound as b's (sometimes d's too, but never mind that :P)

If you think cyber world can rescue you from this, think again.

If your hands are shaky and lose from fever and sickness, and on top of that you are all a-sneezing, even your QWERTY keyboard has B right next to the N and M.

I tell you, its a conspiracy!


P.S: I know its monsoon (well almost), but no I don't have a cold. Touchwoodanything-but-nose.

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The Loop-hole is in the Key-hole

Thursday, July 2, 2009
The Key to Happiness was found!
But the damn thing just didn't fit any lock.
-Stupidosaur
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A SentiMental Post...

Sunday, June 28, 2009
Arz kiya hai...
*Clears throat*
Akash Ki Koi Seema Nahin...
(Irshad! Irshad!)

Toh miyan...arz kiya hai...
Akash Ki Koi Seema Nahin...!
(Wah wah! Wah wah! Bohut Khoob!)

Kehte hain...
Akash Ki Koi Seema Nahin...
(Taliyan Taliyan!)



...Hattt Saaaala! Meri bhi koi nahin! :P
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Stupid Shopkeepers!

Play 1

Scene 1 , Day 1, Shop 1

Shopkeeper : Aur Kuchh?
Stupidosaur : Bas.
(Shopkeeper turns to other customers.)
(Stupidosaur leaves, but smiles mischeviously just when getting off the shop's steps.)


Scene 2, Day 2, Shop 2

Shopkeeper : Aur Kuchh?
Stupidosaur : Bas.
(Shopkeeper is about to turn to other customers.)
Stupidosaur : Arrey kidhar ja rahe ho?!!! Kaha naa mujhe bas chahiye!
(Shopkeeper with somewhat confused look, is still trying to figure out if Stupidosaur is talking to him)
Stupidosaur : (Acting somewhat angry, in a huff and hurry) Khair rehne do. Bas stop se hi le loonga bas :P!
(Stuipdosaur makes a quick escape to the nearby bus stop and catches the bus that had luckily stopped at that moment. So if shopkeeper realised after a few moments, that what Stupidosaur actually needed was Onnnnnnnnne Tightttttttt Slaaaaaap, it was a few moments too late!)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Play 2

Waiter : Aur kuchh chahiye sir?
Stupid : Haan. Chahiye.
Waiter : Kya laaoon sir?
Stupid : Ab mujhe ek aisi cheez laa kar do, jo menu mein hai hi nahin!
Waiter : Aisa toh nahin milega sir. Aap menu dekho. Bohot kuchh hai. Sab variety. Menu main se jo bhi mangta hai, sab milega.
Stupid : (acting mighty pissed) Arrey kaisa hotel hai! Menu mein nahin hai to dogey nahin? Arrey customer jo bhi maangey leke aana chahiye. Ho nahin, toh bana key lana chahiye!
Waiter : (trying to appease, tries a different angle) OK sir. Aap bataiye. Mein try karta, kitchen ko bolta.
Stupid : (with a vague generic glint in his eye, a glint so generic, it could be taken to mean anything the onlooker may want it to mean) Lekin, mujhe jo chahiye woh to khana hai hi nahin!
Waiter : (Surely his brain reached the conditon of a just-served sizzler....chhsssssssssss!Phsssssssssssssss!Crackle!Pop!)...errr
Stupid : Mujhe bill chahiye! Bana ke lao! Menu mein likha nahin hai. Fir bhi!


P.S.
-----------------------------
About the title:
Stupid is not an adjective for Shopkeepers.
Its more like Vikram Vetal ;-)

About the labels:
Play 2 and Play 1 Scene 1 have truly happened. Hence the label.
Play 1 Scene 2 haven't. (Yet ;-) ). Hence the label.
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NUTS log kuchh bhi BOLTa hai!

Friday, June 26, 2009
What?
Why are you looking at this sentence.
The 'joke' already happened! See the title!

Ok. Just in case that was not enough for you, go read the labels :P
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Somnabullshit

Sunday, June 21, 2009
A somnambulist.
-Sleep walks.
-I am not

A somnabullshit.
-Thinks lot of bullshit when asleep or half asleep
-I am
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Truth

True seeker of the Truth
Insists not on what he thinks is
But Why.

-Stupidosaur
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The Most Bunktual Student In School

Thursday, June 18, 2009
"This year's award, the honour for not missing school even for a single day goes to.....no one this year I am afraid!"

"Give it to me! Give it to me!"

"Whats your name boy?"

"Little Jhonny! Isn't that obvious? You are a character in a joke, and I am the little school boy in that joke! What else could my name be? Such a Stupid question!"

*Since none of the thing in this anecdote actually happened, the other character pretended that the above affront too did not happen. There is a rustle of an attendance record book being flipped through*

"But you have stayed home the whole year!"

"Yes sir! And through all those days, I didn't miss school even once! Not even on weekends!"


(The Dettol ad kinda bored me with its nonsense use dettol->never fall ill->be the kid who never misses school->get some damn prize for it (even if you are otherwise quite dumb and love having dettol on the rocks, with soda :P).
I realised that I do not go to school and don't miss it either .
Hey where's my award!!!!???)
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The Inside Out Boy

Monday, June 15, 2009
There are so many persons out there you have never met.
Doesn't mean they don't exist.

There are so many persons inside you that you have never met.
Doesn't mean they don't exist.

Some outside you will never meet, unfortunately.
Some outside you will meet, unfortunately.
Some outside you will never meet, fortunately.
Some outside you will meet, fortunately.

Same goes for the many persons inside you.

-Stupidosaur

('Nothing really related to post title' label because the Inside Out Boy was some cartoon that I used to watch on Nickelodeon)
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Numbering of Shop Whose Days Were Numbered!

Saturday, June 13, 2009
Then one day it happened. A fanatical narrow minded party came to power in the city. (Just for this story, I'll keep it limited to the city, in national public interest. Nothing at higher levels). They banned all the bars, clubs, movies with even item numbers, even 'englis' dancing academies. Since they had never learnt to run a good administration, improve infrastructure, create jobs etc, they were now seriously jobless and wondered what to do next.

Then one of them had a bright idea! Why not declare words describing women's innerwear as obscene? After all some specific coloured specimen of these had caused major embarassment to some of their own kind once!

So it was decided that their party activists would go on a rampage and harass shopkeepers who sold such goods and displayed advertisements. The merchants were in serious trouble. If they do not display ads, how would people know what they stocked? Business would badly suffer. Displaying pictures was absolutely out of question! Here even the words were banned!

One such dejected and deeply troubled fellow came to his friend Stupidosaur. Problem solved!
From next day, they started displaying such signs:

१२ & ३५ available !

No they were not referring to sizes of any kind :P


(Hint! Hint! Since the numbers are written in Hindi, they are supposed to be read in Hindi!)

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The Death of a Ghost of Love

Friday, June 12, 2009
Was I in Love with You?
Was I in Love with a Ghost of You?
Was a Ghost of me in Love with You?
Or was a Ghost of Me in love with a Ghost Image of You?
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The Bliss Of An Empty Mind...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009
An empty mind...has neither any Discontent, nor Content.
-Stupidosaur

(There is no grammar mistake here. It was meant to be Content, not Contentment)
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The other night on Gtalk

Heard of this one?

"Nobody's perfect. I am nobody."

Its a well known T shirt quote.

Something similar described what happened when I pinged 5 people the other night on Gtalk.

"I am nobody. Nobody wanted to chat."
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The "Earth, You Are So Dead!" or "Who's Yo Daddy?" post

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


We are 'celebrating' 'Environment Week' in office this week, supported by Greenpeace.

We had a poster making competition today. Pencils, sharpeners, erasers, crayons. Although the setup does sound like schoolkids, many participated, including me.

There were teams. I was one of the few single entries (as usual and as expected and strictly as per ISO standards :P).

The theme was "Your Planet Needs You!"

As expected, there were the usual birds and bees and trees and rivers and rainbows, and ugly industries and cars and smoke, windmills, solar panels, and earth giving sagely advices to humans and such things in almost every poster you saw .

As expected, the weirdo in me lived ;)

Mine was a comic strip sort of.

Pane 1: Earth giving a wide smile and saying"Hi there! Recognise me? Your Planet!". It also had a thought bubble "Damn! Why am I smiling!"

Pane 2: In the next pane, Earth has just filled a glass of water from a water cooler (The kind which have huge inverted 20 litre Bisleri water bottles fitted on top of them.) Its making a disgusted face at the glass a squealing,"Yuck, Something has gotten into my water!". And you can see black things in the water in the glass as well as the transparent inverted bisleri bottle. The black things are shaped like humans - the usual kindergarteng figure: Round head, a straight line, and sticks for ands and legs.

Pane 3: The Earth's eyes are wide in panic. Two humans (again stick figures) are choking its neck. And Earth is screaming, "Gasp! Its choking me. Cant breath! Need fresh clean air!"

Pane 4: The Earths eyes are closed and tight in pain and 'eekiness' (kinda when cockroaches walk over you ;) ). Its shouting (Arrggh! Its walking all over me! And it BURNS!". In this pane, the black stick humans are walking all over the Earth. And there are trees too! But the black stick humans are burning all of them.

Pane 5: The earth is looking at out with big angry eyes and saying, "And you know what IT is? Its YOU!"

Then there are these big highlighted wordings,
"YOUR PLANET NEEDS YOU.." **This was the theme of the contest if you remember ;)**
"..to give up your Stupid ways!" **Yeah yeah! That seems to be my favourite word. Expresses a lot of things ;)**


Well my artwork was not very great. Somewhat (Lot) shabby. But my message was kinda strong and sarcastic and cutting and all that blah. Better than most other messages I think. But then my artwork was shabby. Fair enough considering that I single handedly couloured the area of the poster in 1 hour. Other teams had at least 2-3 hands to cover that much area!

But damn! There was this girl who was again a single entry. At the next table (Cafeteria tables). And I could see that she had made something very pretty. There was some beautifully drawn freehand drawing, which from the angle I could see it, looked like some mythological monster's face too! But within it I could also see factory rooftops and cars and trees and stuff. Drawn in a very cool , neat, artistic way. (Damn girls. Why do they have to be so aesthetically purrfect (Does that mean catty?). Always having pearly handwritings, great at drawing at what not :P ;)) I don't know what her punch line was. But if it was good, I am definitely a goner. I had nothing more than a creative idea. No artistic talent. At least not with crayons and at least not when college lectures are not going on :P (Which you will see if I post pics of things I used to draw with pen during Engineering lectures ;) Not very great. But kinda nice)

Lets see when and what the contest results are. Never underestimate your opponents. They may win. Never overestimate judge's great taste. Even you may win ;).
--------------------------------
Anyways, after writing all this stuff, I realised that I digress ;)

Initially I was not going to post the entire real life event. Just a side thought which had occured to me during it.
इक जमाना था, जब वहां ' पेड का पार्क ' था

आज वहां बस ' पेड-पार्किंग ' है

--------------------------
And then there was this older guy who kept on addressing us as bright young people, next generation, etc in whose hands the Earth's future lay.
It reminded me of such a guest at school who called us "Bright Kids Of the Next Generation!"
Errr, sir, no offence, to you or me, but if I am the Bright Kid Of The Next Generation, would that not make me my own grandchild? :P
-----------------------------------------
By the way I didn't just do goofing around and contest playing at the first day of the 'fest' (celebrating Earth destruction). I have also filled a form to pay Rs 300 a month (deducted from my account) every month to Greenpeace. Hope they do something good with it :P








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This rocks if you are a sucker for it! ;)

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Alphabet - ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPRSTUVWXYZ ------------>

=

Consonants - BCDFGHJKLMNPQRSTVWXYZ

+

Vowels - AEIOU

"IT SUCKS!"

If you just move back a consonant and a vowel...

"IT ROCKS!"

B C D F G H J K L M-

B C D Q F G H J K L M N P I I

B C Q D F G H J K L M N P T T

I

B C D F G H J K L M N P Q R S T V W X Y Z

B C D F G H J K L Q IA E I O U

B C D F Q G H J K L M N P C C

B C D F G Q H J K L M N P K K

B C D F G H Q J K L M N P S S

B C D F G H J Q K L M N P I! I!

There's just a little difference between the two!

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What an insect!

"What an insect!"
Thats what they were probably thinking, before they thought of calling it an incest.
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Why flee the negatives?

Pretty pictures develop from negatives!

-Stupidosaur

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A Wild Story!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

I took this picture when I was on a holiday.
There I was, sitting with my camera, right in front of it! The distance between us was hardly a few feet! So beautiful and majestic isn't it?
The complete story about this coming up soon! Stay tuned!
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Oh! Cut the crap!

Friday, May 29, 2009
Actually thats exactly what we IT guys do.
Every day!
Cut the crap.
(Ctrl X)
Paste the crap.
(Ctrl V)

(We even Copy (Ctrl C) the crap! :O)
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Working hard on the blog

So will be hardly blogging.


No, I am not sick of blogging. You would have realised that if you have carefully read this post I wrote yesterday/night, or atleast if you have carelessly read its comments.


The actual story:
Statcounter tells me that some newcomers to this blog have been busy past week clicking all labels on the right panel.


But the thing is, for almost whole of 2008 (or for whatever half of it I was actually blogging), I hardly put labels on my post. The most interesting ones probably went without a label.

So I am going to go back and label each and every post!

Also, there are likely to be a lot of unanswered comments in the old posts, inspite of the blurb you see at the top of the right hand panel. Reasons:
1) I am lazy
2) I am busy (Ha!)
3) I have never set up an email notification for comments. So if someone comments on an old post here , its usually raat gayi, baat gayi.

Of course, after this excercise, I just might set up the email notification.
Or maybe I will take up such excercise periodically in future. So you can still comment on old posts ;)

Basically, I am going to answer all comments on all posts till date!

Another thing is, you hardly see any awards strewn about on this blog. Not because they never offered, but because I never bothered :P. Reasons:
1) Ditto reason 1) of No Comments
2) Ditto reason 2) of No Comments
3) I care not about them awards (Which further has lots of reasons. But if I mention all those here, what will I write a book about! ;) Kidding)

But then, I have decided to change this policy, at least for now, till the time I again change this policy. Reasons:
1) Some stray human gene in the reptile sometimes nags and induces vague impressions of thoughts like Maybe Not Collecting Awards Kinda Hurts Those Who Give Them
2) I sometimes go about mocking and mucking in comment sections of others in posts where they go Yazoooppah! Igotenawad! Just in case these guys trace back to this blog from their posts, they should not form the misunderstanding that its a case of Grapes Are Sour.

So, as I go through past comments, I am going to collect all awards you people have offered me earlier, by following through on the award notification comments.

Mads, I will collect the new award from you when I am done with the above.

So all those folks who receive feeds on every sneeze of mine on this blog, your inboxes (or whatever it is) are in for a nasty week ahead !

Yeah! Call me Stupid! :P ;)
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Physics of a Photo-Chemistry

Spoke the Bloodyangry Disgruntled Fuming Stranger Juliet Girl, "Hey you twerp! Stop staring at me!"


Said our Geeky Physicist Smartass Romeo Jerk, "You are complaining? On what grounds? You do not own the photons or waves of light that are reflected from you. I was just standing here collecting photons. They are universal public property. If you own them, why don't you just order them to go loiter elsewhere?

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I am sick of blogging

Thursday, May 28, 2009
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Matters

What doesn't, is; What isn't, does.
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I guess they didn't have FaceBook back then :P

"kitabe bahut si padhi hongi tumne...magar koyi chehra bhi tumne padha hai?"


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Mission Implausible

"If its basically supposed to Hit the target, why the heck is it called Missile?"

At this, the Mister thought he's Missing something.
The Miss wondered at the Mistery.

(Then they got bored and the Mister started hitting on the Miss.)
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I never knew I controlled so much!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009
"Stupidosaur, you have DisAppointed me"
"Funny. When did I appoint you first?"
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55 fiction

Tuesday, May 26, 2009
He tried pulling the screw out.
Nothing Happened.
He tried biting it off.
Nothing.
He kept on struggling with it...on and on and on and on....and then some.

Just then then she came by, serenely floating on her Hawaii Chappals. And it opened!
Because she gave it a twist!


(This is just a spoof on a person who commented on a blogger friend's 55 fiction that his 55 fictions are so predictable since they always END WITH A TWIST!)
(This is also a spoof on the concept of 55 fiction. Read the label for the post. If you are still not convinced, be my guest and count the words! If they are 55, let me know so that I can take the opportunity and be highly surprised. I have not tried to make them 55 or non 55 )
(Hey wait, maybe this is 55 fiction really. Because WORDS USED by me were 55. Others I simply threw about and wasted. I didn't USE them ;) )

@Abhishek SIM
You are totally free to reuse this idea to make a 55 fiction to shut the person up ;). Cause mine isn't really a 55 fiction, so you making one will not amount to stealing ;) )

--------------------------------------------------
One comment by Mads indicates that the post is a little misleading. I am not pulling SIM's leg.
I just gave him idea to combat his detractors :)

The label Doofus relates to the dumb guy in the story, though i now realise its attribution can be misunderstood here. I though of making it a label because I sensed it will find a lot of future application on my blog, sometimes on Fictional Characters, sometimes on Real Characters, but most of the time on this Stupidosaur Character, who is hard to classify in either category ;)

And yeah, apart from that the post mocks 55 fiction format. 'Formats' basically make me feel like this ;P

(Thats a very special emoticon, not a typo variant of :P or ;) )

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Expert Analysis : What it took to win IPL Season 2 (2009)

Our Expert has scrutinised very rigorously what really made the winning team of IPL Season 2 win IPL Season 2

The conclusion, as is in case of many perplexing posers, is very simple :

If your team name has the word Chargers, you definitely win IPL Season 2!

To silence all his critics, the Expert has One Big Undeniable Fact on his side:
Deccan Chargers have the word Chargers in their team name AND They won IPL Season 2. Period! Try arguing to that, Ha!

In view of this Simply Startling and Startlingly Simple Conclusion, what should the ultimate losers Kolkata Knight Riders, who burned just like their helmet below, have done to give a tough final match to Deccan Chargers in IPL season 2 (and maybe even won it!)?

Its (again) very simple! They should have stopped bothering about the irrelevant details, such as their coach, their batting, their bowling, their fielding, their final eleven, their team spirit, their skin colour ratio, about the Fake IPL Player, and about their 'Right-hand' 'Man'! Instead, they should have just worked on their team name and..

...made it Nokia Chargers!

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Wise Words

Saturday, May 23, 2009
Wise Words are nothing but moderately appealing literature, if at all, and if anything.
-Stupiosaur
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Everything you need to know...

There is no such thing as Compromise, just like and because there is no such thing as Everything
-Stupidosaur
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The Problem With This World Is...

Friday, May 22, 2009
The Problem With This World Is...
...That Only The Wise Seek Wisdom.
-Thus Said The Stupidosaur
(No, that last line isn't part of the problem ;) )
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Alu Chips!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, May 21, 2009
These are Chips!!!


They've got Alu!!!!!!





These are Chips too!!!!!!!!!




They too've got ALU !!!!!!!!!!!!

(conceptual diagram of an Arithmetic Logic Unit of a microprocessor)







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Bugs Life

Yes, bugs life.
That is what Stupidosaur does.
He bugs to no end any given intelligent life form that dares exist in his vicinity for a finite measurable time.

Case in point:

Time: Today afternoon.
Venue: The usual (Office Cafeteria).
Event: This...

(Curtains open)

Stupidosaur's back, which perhaps doesn't like to watch TV, is facing away from it. As a result, the TV, and some goreous bolywood actresses in it have grabbed this golden opportunity to look deep into Stupidosaur's eyes, which were hence facing them.

Just then, an unsuspecting Life Form arrives in the cafeteria and suddenly finds itself without the usual other Life Forms of its herd, with whom it feeds daily. Having not crossed paths with Stupidosaur often, and having totally failed to register the significance of the fact that all the chairs in the vicinity of Stupidosaur usually remained empty, the Life Form adjusted its Glutei Maximi (of course, with no tail between them) on a nearby chair. The empty chair had been happily orbiting Stupidosaur's table with zero velocity, until the the Life Form came along.

The back of this Life Form seemed to rather like watching TV. So Stupidosaur's nose and The Life Form's back merrily watched the TV while Stupidosaur's mouth uttered inconsequential innanities like...

"So, who do you think is gonna win this IPL?"
...and...
"Did you know Katrina Kaif may go and get a tonsure for one of her new roles?"
...and...
"So , do you think today's meeting will be cancelled?" (If it interests the reader, I would like to inform that it indeed got cancelled later on)
...and so on.

Just then Stupidosaur started looking at the TV with renewed interest, as if totally enthralled!
"Wow!...Look at that! The army of black bugs and army of white bugs is having a gala time fighting out an epic battle!"

At this the Life Form's head turned towards the TV, much to the annoyment of its back, whose peaceful Telly-watching thus got rudely interrupted! Just a few moments later, there came the head's turned to get annoyed, and in annoyment it started blasting words at the Stupidosaur.

"What black and white bugs! The transmission seems to have gone kaput! Its just showing static!"

Stupidosaur: "Exactly! That."

After a short processing time, it dawns upon the Life Form and it gives an irritated part-grin.

Then Stupidosaur's system hangs up for a while, after which it utters, "So who do you think will win?"

"What? IPL? I already told you. Just a little while ago. Rajasthan Royals!"
(Yes please forgive the Life Form. It has been very busy with work last fortnight, and doesn't exactly know the current affairs)

"No, not that. The bugs war. Who will win it"

"Umm white?"

"No. Black! Eventually they will switch off the TV"

----------------------------------------
Yeah. Bugs Life. Stupidosaur does!
-----------------------------------------

BTW, I have tried to get inspired from Doulgas Adams in the style of my narrative above, although I know its nowhere close to him in its humour, wordplay, sentence construction, weirdness, or complexity of plot or even readability :P)

Hope one day I grow up to be like him. (Except the part where he dies at 49 years of age due to myocardial infraction caused by constricted capillaries :P)
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Stupid Coincidence?

Right now I am eating fruits, whose individual specimen are known in some Indian languages by names that are very close to "Dadam" (Thats pomegranate for you).
And since I am eating many of them, I am basically eating Dadams.

The coincidence is, that at the same time, I am reading a book whose author's name is
D.Adams (Thats Douglas Adams for you)
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Some things never change...

Monday, May 18, 2009
When a Child, I was a Grown-Up;
When a Grown-Up, I am still the Child.

-Stupidosaur
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Zeroing On The Infinities

I am a Big Zero;
But within Me lie the Geat Infinities....
-Stupidosaur
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This Big Bang never happened - Good!

Sunday, May 17, 2009
Well I guess not many will really discuss the last post with me sensibly. So for now, chuck the Big Bang.

Whether Universe expands or not, this thing definitely did ;)....






The theory:

Basically, the Mad Scientist kept a perfectly normal half litre bag of milk in some remote corner of his kitchen and completely forgot about it. Four summer nights and four summer days it lay there, before it was discovered in the state you see above.
When the Mad Scientist discovered it, he thought, "Aha! Just in time!" That is, just in time for a Photo-op, and just in time to avoid a Nasty Surprise that would have gone 'Blooooofsh!' and forced him to clean up some yucky creamish creamy goop!
So what did the Mad Scientist do next?
1) He grabbed the photo-op!
2) He threw the budding and balooning model in the nearest public garbage dump. He actually waited two more days for the thing to go Blooooofsh! Unfortunately it never did. It shrunk back into a floppy lumpy little bag, even smaller than the original half litre bag of milk.
There are two hypotheses doing rounds in the scientific circles around this strange phenomenon:
1) Black Hole Theory:
The unprecedent occurance of bubbling white gloop enclosed in a extremely tight plastic boundaries led to the creation of a localised Black Hole. All the anti-dark matter got absorbed into it. But the disgusting taste of the stuff made the Black Hole faint. And further, owing to the soporific effects milk, it never woke up again. So everybody else lived happily ever after.
2) Mosquito Hole Theory:
Basically some mosquito sat on the bloated thing. And owing to the intense processed going on inside it, the rotund thing was quite warm. So when a passing mosquito sat on it, it though it had landed on somebody's butt and gave it a prick. (Yes mosquito's job has become very tough these days. Its very difficult to distinguish between a plastic bag of rotten milk. After all many humans are so plastic these days. eg. Aishwarya)
So what really happened?
---------------------------------
An after-thought:
It is expected that Universe started expanding starting from the Big Bang. But this particular Big Bang was expected to happen after the expansion.
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Pretending to be Super Smart - About Universe and Stuff

Mass and Energy are equivalent.

Einstein said so. Or rather proved so.

And experiments (some of which killed many) showed so.




And there is a Law Of Conservation Of Mass-Energy.




Then again Space and Time are equivalent.

Einstein said so. Or rather proved so.

Infact he said so before he said the thing above.

And infact derived the thing above from this thing.

And experiments have shown so. (Though confirmatory ones are in the works I understand)




And perhaps there is a some Law of conservation of Space-Time too then?

Maybe we can get to it mathematically starting from Law of Conservation of Mass-Energy?




This is what my (perhaps baseless, or maybe not) intuition says the Law of Conservation of Space-Time may be like...

Total of Space and Time in the Universe remains constant.


So when there is more Space in the Universe, there will be less Time (or less Time Flow?) in the universe. So as the Universe goes on expanding (as it is currently known to be doing), the Overall Time Flow* in it is perhaps getting slower and slower, although we cannot notice it ?Scientists perhaps have not noticed it bcause just like there is lot of energy equivalent to a little mass, there is very tiny time slowing for lots of space expansion? And anyways, if all the clock (atomic too! especially atomic ones actually!) are slowing down at that small rate, how will we know unless we have one clock outside the universe? OK coming back to the original matter Expanding space perhaps means slowing time flow. And when space expands a lot (say infinite, or say something finite, just like the finite speed of light is for physics infinite!), time will stop. Effectively, Universe will be dead, or at least in coma, until (if at all) by some reason it starts contracting and time starts flowing!

OK so we killed the Universe. What about birth? Say there really was something called the Big Bang. Before the Universe 'unfurled' at the Big Bang, it was contained, compressed in some sort of an infinitecimal egg, so to speak. According to one prevelant school of thought, both Space and Time came into existence only at the Big Bang. Before that, there was Nothing. So then we reach the wall of what is this Nothing? What was 'really there' before the Big Bang? Here scientists find themselves internally fumbling and externally blabbering like Religion folks.

But if Law of Conservation of Space-Time can really be derived from Law of Conservation of Mass-Energy, then we get a different perspective. (Eistein reached mass-energy domain from space-time domain. I am talking of trying a reverse idea. Applying reverse kinda mathematical transforms and physics equations, starting from mass energy conservation equation), then it would mean this:

When universe was packed into an infinitecimal space ( or maybe a 'finitecimal' space, like finite speed of light ;) ), time effectively flowed at an infinite rate. So basically, any given 'moment' was actually infinite time. So the state of the Universe 'just before' the Big Bang or 'at' Big Bang could have existed over infinite time, over 'reverse eternity'! There does not have to be anything before the Big Bang. A scientific perspective on the Nothing before the Big Bang!

There are lots of Conclusions, Corollaries, Criticisms, Ifs and Buts about this idea running in my mind right now. Many of them are hazy. But those clearly visible and audible in my head right now are these:

1) If this principle is true, then is the Universe we see is nothing but a process of conversion of all Time Flow into all Space?

2) One prevelant view is that all the known and yet unknown laws of physics came into existence a few moments after the big bang (Some of them also give exact picoseconds (or some even greater negative power of ten) or something after big bang when this supposedly happened!). They say that at the big bang, all known laws of physics break down. Which basically means any weird thing can happen? And everthing happens just so? Just so means 'divinely'? Ah folks isn't that the domain of Religion? If the law I described is true and can be proved, and we backtrack things without making (perhaps unscientific) assumptions of laws (including this law) breaking down, then we get a scientific, consistent perspective at the origin of the universe? All other laws could also be extended back within the framework of this conservation principle?

3) Universe need not be space+time only as is currently assumed. That Space+Time need not have come to existence all of a sudden at big bang. There can be an all space and all time universe. They are two boundaries of universe existence, beyond which it does not exist.

4) There are also existing notions of Universe cooling down as it is expanding, owing to thermodynamics. So there is this notion of Universe totally cooling down - Heat Death of the Universe. Wonder how the proposed Time Death (all time flow converted to space, only space left but no time) of the universe relateds to the Heat death. Are they two different things? Like Cancer, Heart Attack, Gradual Tissue Degeneration are all different causes of Death?

Damn how I am itching to try the 'reverse derivation' right now! How I wish I had more exposure to the mathematics of such physics. All I did was study Engineering and make myself into a Stupid IT guy, and presently provide my services to increase the Stupid savings of an Insurance company through computer solutions :P!


* I am saying Overall Time Flow because under relativistic phenomenon, time flows different in different frames of motion, but may be there is some way of its Overall mathematical treatment across the Universe? Hey I know thats sounding Classical Newtonish absolute kind of thing rather than Relativistic, but if it is such an absurd idea, then scientist talking about 'age of universe' and stuff are basically giving bullshit. If they are not bullshitting, then there is some weight to my idea, though I don't know the technicalities :P)

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An Economical Post

Saturday, May 16, 2009
Some things are Interesting, some Taxing.
-Stupidosaur
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Yoohoo

Friday, May 15, 2009
Today I am going to reveal a few little known things about myself:

1) I am very good a forecasting future trends and fads.
2) I always try to look exactly like the most famous celebrity.
3) So I knew Zoozoos will become the most popular celebrities and hence I was working really hard since last two years to look exactly like them - untoned floppy limbs, a big ballooning tummy, and a stupid round face!

The first two points are big fat lies.
So is the third point true or a big 'fat' lie?

Anyways, as has been the recent trend, whenever I label a post as 'Nothing really related to post title', I also make it a point to make that label inapplicable. So this is how the title is actually related to the post:

In some cultures, they pronounce 'J' and 'Y' sound/write 'Y' sound as 'J' (whichever way you want to look at it :P)
eg. Benjamin pronounced as Benyamin, Hallelujah pronounced as Halleluyah!

So I have taken the linguistic liberty and formulated new rules:
'Z' sound can be written as 'H' or 'Y'.
'H' and 'Y' letters are to be pronounced as 'Z' sound.

Besides, looking like a celebrity is a matter of rejoicing, aint it ! So ..
Yoohooo!
Zoozoooo!

Bye. I need to go soosoooo!
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Cricket: Why and what I think of Chetan Bhagat...

Thursday, April 30, 2009

So again (as usual) I was watching the IPL in the office cafeteria .

Today's teams: Mumbai Indians vs Kings XI Punjab.

There I was, nicely devouring the food and the sights and sounds.

Suddenly I was interrupted by a thought (an irritating thought actually!): Chetan Bhagat!

Guess why?

At that point in the match, KXIP were playing at the run-rate of 5.71. Thats why!

5.71

Five Point Seven One.

Five Point Sevm One.

Five Point Some One.

Chetan Bhagat.

Sheesh!

Thats why I thought about him.

Here is what I think about him:

I read only1 book of his: Five Point Someone.

Its a bland blearrrrghhish book.

Nothing ever happens.

No drama, no suspense, no romance, no spook, no great philosophy, no beautiful wordplay.

Nothing.

He sells because thats the kind of book MAJORITY are hardly CAPABLE of reading I guess :P.

If I read a book or watch a for free and still I claim not to like it, it probably means it was genuinely bad.

I read this one for free. My roomie had bought it.

I guess it didn't stand a miniscule chance to get liked by me because it was nowhere in the league of other books I was reading in those same 15-20 days:

Shantaram (roommate's)

Shalimar the clown (roommate's)

Black Friday - true story of Bombay bomb blasts (roommate's)

Some Stephen King book (purchased from waste paper mart)

BTW I WILL NOT BLOG FOR AROUND 10 DAYS

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'Good' Question!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Good {{ Better {{ Best.

"Best before" is the date before which it is best.
So after that does it become better?
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The worse the best the better!

Monday, April 27, 2009
Is this post something like "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly"?
No.

Did I accidentally miss the commas between between "the worse", "the best" and "the better"?
No

Is the "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly" a sentence?
No

Is "The worse the best the better!" a sentence?
Yes it is.

Still not making sense? It will, with a bit reference to context...

I was half-interestedly watching the opening of KKR batting in IPL yesterday night while aving dinner in the office canteen. I call it 'yesterday night' for the simple reason that its past midnght now :P

They were showing the statistics of the opening pair: McCullum and Gayle. I am a person who does not follow anything very keenly, especially things which everybody follows keenly. So I don't really know what big stars these two blokes are. I was just judging them based on the numbers I saw then.

McCullum IPL statisctics:
Best: Something above 150
Total: Something around 250
Average: Around 30
(Please note: All quantities are in 'run' units*
250/30= around 8
250-150=100
These 100 were made in the 7 innings other than the 'highest score' 'fluke' innings.
So basically his IPL average was around 100/7, ie. 10-15 runs :P according to me!

Gayle on other hand had a similar 30ish average. But his 'best' score was not very hight flying one like McCullum. Which meant that his average was actually what it appeared to be, unlike McCullum's which was quite a bloated one! This made me think Gayle will probably make more runs than McCullum in the match.

Thats when the profound sentence came in my head: With other factors remaining the same...
"The worse the best the better (it is)!"


Anyways, I think I wrote better IPL posts last year around this time. Example:
http://saying-private-yarn.blogspot.com/2008/05/uncreative-title-ipl.html

If you want more, just click on the label Cricket, which is same as clicking on this:
http://saying-private-yarn.blogspot.com/search/label/Cricket
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