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Stupid Shopkeepers!

Sunday, June 28, 2009
Play 1

Scene 1 , Day 1, Shop 1

Shopkeeper : Aur Kuchh?
Stupidosaur : Bas.
(Shopkeeper turns to other customers.)
(Stupidosaur leaves, but smiles mischeviously just when getting off the shop's steps.)


Scene 2, Day 2, Shop 2

Shopkeeper : Aur Kuchh?
Stupidosaur : Bas.
(Shopkeeper is about to turn to other customers.)
Stupidosaur : Arrey kidhar ja rahe ho?!!! Kaha naa mujhe bas chahiye!
(Shopkeeper with somewhat confused look, is still trying to figure out if Stupidosaur is talking to him)
Stupidosaur : (Acting somewhat angry, in a huff and hurry) Khair rehne do. Bas stop se hi le loonga bas :P!
(Stuipdosaur makes a quick escape to the nearby bus stop and catches the bus that had luckily stopped at that moment. So if shopkeeper realised after a few moments, that what Stupidosaur actually needed was Onnnnnnnnne Tightttttttt Slaaaaaap, it was a few moments too late!)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Play 2

Waiter : Aur kuchh chahiye sir?
Stupid : Haan. Chahiye.
Waiter : Kya laaoon sir?
Stupid : Ab mujhe ek aisi cheez laa kar do, jo menu mein hai hi nahin!
Waiter : Aisa toh nahin milega sir. Aap menu dekho. Bohot kuchh hai. Sab variety. Menu main se jo bhi mangta hai, sab milega.
Stupid : (acting mighty pissed) Arrey kaisa hotel hai! Menu mein nahin hai to dogey nahin? Arrey customer jo bhi maangey leke aana chahiye. Ho nahin, toh bana key lana chahiye!
Waiter : (trying to appease, tries a different angle) OK sir. Aap bataiye. Mein try karta, kitchen ko bolta.
Stupid : (with a vague generic glint in his eye, a glint so generic, it could be taken to mean anything the onlooker may want it to mean) Lekin, mujhe jo chahiye woh to khana hai hi nahin!
Waiter : (Surely his brain reached the conditon of a just-served sizzler....chhsssssssssss!Phsssssssssssssss!Crackle!Pop!)...errr
Stupid : Mujhe bill chahiye! Bana ke lao! Menu mein likha nahin hai. Fir bhi!


P.S.
-----------------------------
About the title:
Stupid is not an adjective for Shopkeepers.
Its more like Vikram Vetal ;-)

About the labels:
Play 2 and Play 1 Scene 1 have truly happened. Hence the label.
Play 1 Scene 2 haven't. (Yet ;-) ). Hence the label.
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18 comments :

  1. he bhagwaan! poor waiter! stupidosaur ko aur koi kaam nahi hai kya?

    ReplyDelete
  2. i read ur comment at Scribblers Inc... shit yu gt some kinda free time... nyway it was too damn hilarious n entertaining...
    becareful when yu do that with a waiter... if yu were in america, m sure he'd sue yu fr it!! in case u're wondering wat m talkin abt, get ur hands on readers digest - june issue... well i guess m jus blabbering now!! tc... keep writing :)
    p.s. - don mess around with ppl too much... yu don want broken bones rite?? ;) keep safe

    ReplyDelete
  3. *sigh*...you took the art of raining hathodas to the next level.

    i agree, what Stupid needs is Onnnnnnnnne Tightttttttt Slaaaaaap


    :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. God!! ur sooo hilarious!! and really mean!! :P poor waiter :)

    Saima

    ReplyDelete
  5. i guess them both after the first few lines. am i becoming brilliant-er ? .... or stupider?


    lucky you get get the bus just at the right moment in you imagination. have you imagined the worst case scenario?

    ReplyDelete
  6. hehe.. 2nd one of the waiter..funny..

    ReplyDelete
  7. Is it just me or those shopkeeper jokes are actually PJs..? :P
    But the waiter thing is hilarious!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. i knew ud say bill! but the bas was too cool!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Agar main shopkeeper hoti na... ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. lol!

    so pj-ish you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    the bas laake do was to, bas ram hi rakhi, like they say!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. The scene 2 is like asking texiwala... Delhi jaayega? if he says yes, tell him to go... (Toh jaao na.)

    he he he

    ReplyDelete
  12. btw anagram of shopkeepers is shokesppeer(shakespeare) - tum ache plays likte ho...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dono bechare!! :D

    Police complaint nai kari kisi ne kya

    ReplyDelete

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