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This rocks if you are a sucker for it! ;)

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Alphabet - ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPRSTUVWXYZ ------------>

=

Consonants - BCDFGHJKLMNPQRSTVWXYZ

+

Vowels - AEIOU

"IT SUCKS!"

If you just move back a consonant and a vowel...

"IT ROCKS!"

B C D F G H J K L M-

B C D Q F G H J K L M N P I I

B C Q D F G H J K L M N P T T

I

B C D F G H J K L M N P Q R S T V W X Y Z

B C D F G H J K L Q IA E I O U

B C D F Q G H J K L M N P C C

B C D F G Q H J K L M N P K K

B C D F G H Q J K L M N P S S

B C D F G H J Q K L M N P I! I!

There's just a little difference between the two!

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What an insect!

"What an insect!"
Thats what they were probably thinking, before they thought of calling it an incest.
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Why flee the negatives?

Pretty pictures develop from negatives!

-Stupidosaur

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A Wild Story!

Saturday, May 30, 2009

I took this picture when I was on a holiday.
There I was, sitting with my camera, right in front of it! The distance between us was hardly a few feet! So beautiful and majestic isn't it?
The complete story about this coming up soon! Stay tuned!
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Oh! Cut the crap!

Friday, May 29, 2009
Actually thats exactly what we IT guys do.
Every day!
Cut the crap.
(Ctrl X)
Paste the crap.
(Ctrl V)

(We even Copy (Ctrl C) the crap! :O)
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Working hard on the blog

So will be hardly blogging.


No, I am not sick of blogging. You would have realised that if you have carefully read this post I wrote yesterday/night, or atleast if you have carelessly read its comments.


The actual story:
Statcounter tells me that some newcomers to this blog have been busy past week clicking all labels on the right panel.


But the thing is, for almost whole of 2008 (or for whatever half of it I was actually blogging), I hardly put labels on my post. The most interesting ones probably went without a label.

So I am going to go back and label each and every post!

Also, there are likely to be a lot of unanswered comments in the old posts, inspite of the blurb you see at the top of the right hand panel. Reasons:
1) I am lazy
2) I am busy (Ha!)
3) I have never set up an email notification for comments. So if someone comments on an old post here , its usually raat gayi, baat gayi.

Of course, after this excercise, I just might set up the email notification.
Or maybe I will take up such excercise periodically in future. So you can still comment on old posts ;)

Basically, I am going to answer all comments on all posts till date!

Another thing is, you hardly see any awards strewn about on this blog. Not because they never offered, but because I never bothered :P. Reasons:
1) Ditto reason 1) of No Comments
2) Ditto reason 2) of No Comments
3) I care not about them awards (Which further has lots of reasons. But if I mention all those here, what will I write a book about! ;) Kidding)

But then, I have decided to change this policy, at least for now, till the time I again change this policy. Reasons:
1) Some stray human gene in the reptile sometimes nags and induces vague impressions of thoughts like Maybe Not Collecting Awards Kinda Hurts Those Who Give Them
2) I sometimes go about mocking and mucking in comment sections of others in posts where they go Yazoooppah! Igotenawad! Just in case these guys trace back to this blog from their posts, they should not form the misunderstanding that its a case of Grapes Are Sour.

So, as I go through past comments, I am going to collect all awards you people have offered me earlier, by following through on the award notification comments.

Mads, I will collect the new award from you when I am done with the above.

So all those folks who receive feeds on every sneeze of mine on this blog, your inboxes (or whatever it is) are in for a nasty week ahead !

Yeah! Call me Stupid! :P ;)
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Physics of a Photo-Chemistry

Spoke the Bloodyangry Disgruntled Fuming Stranger Juliet Girl, "Hey you twerp! Stop staring at me!"


Said our Geeky Physicist Smartass Romeo Jerk, "You are complaining? On what grounds? You do not own the photons or waves of light that are reflected from you. I was just standing here collecting photons. They are universal public property. If you own them, why don't you just order them to go loiter elsewhere?

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I am sick of blogging

Thursday, May 28, 2009
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Matters

What doesn't, is; What isn't, does.
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I guess they didn't have FaceBook back then :P

"kitabe bahut si padhi hongi tumne...magar koyi chehra bhi tumne padha hai?"


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Mission Implausible

"If its basically supposed to Hit the target, why the heck is it called Missile?"

At this, the Mister thought he's Missing something.
The Miss wondered at the Mistery.

(Then they got bored and the Mister started hitting on the Miss.)
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I never knew I controlled so much!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009
"Stupidosaur, you have DisAppointed me"
"Funny. When did I appoint you first?"
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55 fiction

Tuesday, May 26, 2009
He tried pulling the screw out.
Nothing Happened.
He tried biting it off.
Nothing.
He kept on struggling with it...on and on and on and on....and then some.

Just then then she came by, serenely floating on her Hawaii Chappals. And it opened!
Because she gave it a twist!


(This is just a spoof on a person who commented on a blogger friend's 55 fiction that his 55 fictions are so predictable since they always END WITH A TWIST!)
(This is also a spoof on the concept of 55 fiction. Read the label for the post. If you are still not convinced, be my guest and count the words! If they are 55, let me know so that I can take the opportunity and be highly surprised. I have not tried to make them 55 or non 55 )
(Hey wait, maybe this is 55 fiction really. Because WORDS USED by me were 55. Others I simply threw about and wasted. I didn't USE them ;) )

@Abhishek SIM
You are totally free to reuse this idea to make a 55 fiction to shut the person up ;). Cause mine isn't really a 55 fiction, so you making one will not amount to stealing ;) )

--------------------------------------------------
One comment by Mads indicates that the post is a little misleading. I am not pulling SIM's leg.
I just gave him idea to combat his detractors :)

The label Doofus relates to the dumb guy in the story, though i now realise its attribution can be misunderstood here. I though of making it a label because I sensed it will find a lot of future application on my blog, sometimes on Fictional Characters, sometimes on Real Characters, but most of the time on this Stupidosaur Character, who is hard to classify in either category ;)

And yeah, apart from that the post mocks 55 fiction format. 'Formats' basically make me feel like this ;P

(Thats a very special emoticon, not a typo variant of :P or ;) )

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Expert Analysis : What it took to win IPL Season 2 (2009)

Our Expert has scrutinised very rigorously what really made the winning team of IPL Season 2 win IPL Season 2

The conclusion, as is in case of many perplexing posers, is very simple :

If your team name has the word Chargers, you definitely win IPL Season 2!

To silence all his critics, the Expert has One Big Undeniable Fact on his side:
Deccan Chargers have the word Chargers in their team name AND They won IPL Season 2. Period! Try arguing to that, Ha!

In view of this Simply Startling and Startlingly Simple Conclusion, what should the ultimate losers Kolkata Knight Riders, who burned just like their helmet below, have done to give a tough final match to Deccan Chargers in IPL season 2 (and maybe even won it!)?

Its (again) very simple! They should have stopped bothering about the irrelevant details, such as their coach, their batting, their bowling, their fielding, their final eleven, their team spirit, their skin colour ratio, about the Fake IPL Player, and about their 'Right-hand' 'Man'! Instead, they should have just worked on their team name and..

...made it Nokia Chargers!

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Wise Words

Saturday, May 23, 2009
Wise Words are nothing but moderately appealing literature, if at all, and if anything.
-Stupiosaur
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Everything you need to know...

There is no such thing as Compromise, just like and because there is no such thing as Everything
-Stupidosaur
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The Problem With This World Is...

Friday, May 22, 2009
The Problem With This World Is...
...That Only The Wise Seek Wisdom.
-Thus Said The Stupidosaur
(No, that last line isn't part of the problem ;) )
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Alu Chips!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, May 21, 2009
These are Chips!!!


They've got Alu!!!!!!





These are Chips too!!!!!!!!!




They too've got ALU !!!!!!!!!!!!

(conceptual diagram of an Arithmetic Logic Unit of a microprocessor)







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Bugs Life

Yes, bugs life.
That is what Stupidosaur does.
He bugs to no end any given intelligent life form that dares exist in his vicinity for a finite measurable time.

Case in point:

Time: Today afternoon.
Venue: The usual (Office Cafeteria).
Event: This...

(Curtains open)

Stupidosaur's back, which perhaps doesn't like to watch TV, is facing away from it. As a result, the TV, and some goreous bolywood actresses in it have grabbed this golden opportunity to look deep into Stupidosaur's eyes, which were hence facing them.

Just then, an unsuspecting Life Form arrives in the cafeteria and suddenly finds itself without the usual other Life Forms of its herd, with whom it feeds daily. Having not crossed paths with Stupidosaur often, and having totally failed to register the significance of the fact that all the chairs in the vicinity of Stupidosaur usually remained empty, the Life Form adjusted its Glutei Maximi (of course, with no tail between them) on a nearby chair. The empty chair had been happily orbiting Stupidosaur's table with zero velocity, until the the Life Form came along.

The back of this Life Form seemed to rather like watching TV. So Stupidosaur's nose and The Life Form's back merrily watched the TV while Stupidosaur's mouth uttered inconsequential innanities like...

"So, who do you think is gonna win this IPL?"
...and...
"Did you know Katrina Kaif may go and get a tonsure for one of her new roles?"
...and...
"So , do you think today's meeting will be cancelled?" (If it interests the reader, I would like to inform that it indeed got cancelled later on)
...and so on.

Just then Stupidosaur started looking at the TV with renewed interest, as if totally enthralled!
"Wow!...Look at that! The army of black bugs and army of white bugs is having a gala time fighting out an epic battle!"

At this the Life Form's head turned towards the TV, much to the annoyment of its back, whose peaceful Telly-watching thus got rudely interrupted! Just a few moments later, there came the head's turned to get annoyed, and in annoyment it started blasting words at the Stupidosaur.

"What black and white bugs! The transmission seems to have gone kaput! Its just showing static!"

Stupidosaur: "Exactly! That."

After a short processing time, it dawns upon the Life Form and it gives an irritated part-grin.

Then Stupidosaur's system hangs up for a while, after which it utters, "So who do you think will win?"

"What? IPL? I already told you. Just a little while ago. Rajasthan Royals!"
(Yes please forgive the Life Form. It has been very busy with work last fortnight, and doesn't exactly know the current affairs)

"No, not that. The bugs war. Who will win it"

"Umm white?"

"No. Black! Eventually they will switch off the TV"

----------------------------------------
Yeah. Bugs Life. Stupidosaur does!
-----------------------------------------

BTW, I have tried to get inspired from Doulgas Adams in the style of my narrative above, although I know its nowhere close to him in its humour, wordplay, sentence construction, weirdness, or complexity of plot or even readability :P)

Hope one day I grow up to be like him. (Except the part where he dies at 49 years of age due to myocardial infraction caused by constricted capillaries :P)
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Stupid Coincidence?

Right now I am eating fruits, whose individual specimen are known in some Indian languages by names that are very close to "Dadam" (Thats pomegranate for you).
And since I am eating many of them, I am basically eating Dadams.

The coincidence is, that at the same time, I am reading a book whose author's name is
D.Adams (Thats Douglas Adams for you)
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Some things never change...

Monday, May 18, 2009
When a Child, I was a Grown-Up;
When a Grown-Up, I am still the Child.

-Stupidosaur
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Zeroing On The Infinities

I am a Big Zero;
But within Me lie the Geat Infinities....
-Stupidosaur
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This Big Bang never happened - Good!

Sunday, May 17, 2009
Well I guess not many will really discuss the last post with me sensibly. So for now, chuck the Big Bang.

Whether Universe expands or not, this thing definitely did ;)....






The theory:

Basically, the Mad Scientist kept a perfectly normal half litre bag of milk in some remote corner of his kitchen and completely forgot about it. Four summer nights and four summer days it lay there, before it was discovered in the state you see above.
When the Mad Scientist discovered it, he thought, "Aha! Just in time!" That is, just in time for a Photo-op, and just in time to avoid a Nasty Surprise that would have gone 'Blooooofsh!' and forced him to clean up some yucky creamish creamy goop!
So what did the Mad Scientist do next?
1) He grabbed the photo-op!
2) He threw the budding and balooning model in the nearest public garbage dump. He actually waited two more days for the thing to go Blooooofsh! Unfortunately it never did. It shrunk back into a floppy lumpy little bag, even smaller than the original half litre bag of milk.
There are two hypotheses doing rounds in the scientific circles around this strange phenomenon:
1) Black Hole Theory:
The unprecedent occurance of bubbling white gloop enclosed in a extremely tight plastic boundaries led to the creation of a localised Black Hole. All the anti-dark matter got absorbed into it. But the disgusting taste of the stuff made the Black Hole faint. And further, owing to the soporific effects milk, it never woke up again. So everybody else lived happily ever after.
2) Mosquito Hole Theory:
Basically some mosquito sat on the bloated thing. And owing to the intense processed going on inside it, the rotund thing was quite warm. So when a passing mosquito sat on it, it though it had landed on somebody's butt and gave it a prick. (Yes mosquito's job has become very tough these days. Its very difficult to distinguish between a plastic bag of rotten milk. After all many humans are so plastic these days. eg. Aishwarya)
So what really happened?
---------------------------------
An after-thought:
It is expected that Universe started expanding starting from the Big Bang. But this particular Big Bang was expected to happen after the expansion.
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Pretending to be Super Smart - About Universe and Stuff

Mass and Energy are equivalent.

Einstein said so. Or rather proved so.

And experiments (some of which killed many) showed so.




And there is a Law Of Conservation Of Mass-Energy.




Then again Space and Time are equivalent.

Einstein said so. Or rather proved so.

Infact he said so before he said the thing above.

And infact derived the thing above from this thing.

And experiments have shown so. (Though confirmatory ones are in the works I understand)




And perhaps there is a some Law of conservation of Space-Time too then?

Maybe we can get to it mathematically starting from Law of Conservation of Mass-Energy?




This is what my (perhaps baseless, or maybe not) intuition says the Law of Conservation of Space-Time may be like...

Total of Space and Time in the Universe remains constant.


So when there is more Space in the Universe, there will be less Time (or less Time Flow?) in the universe. So as the Universe goes on expanding (as it is currently known to be doing), the Overall Time Flow* in it is perhaps getting slower and slower, although we cannot notice it ?Scientists perhaps have not noticed it bcause just like there is lot of energy equivalent to a little mass, there is very tiny time slowing for lots of space expansion? And anyways, if all the clock (atomic too! especially atomic ones actually!) are slowing down at that small rate, how will we know unless we have one clock outside the universe? OK coming back to the original matter Expanding space perhaps means slowing time flow. And when space expands a lot (say infinite, or say something finite, just like the finite speed of light is for physics infinite!), time will stop. Effectively, Universe will be dead, or at least in coma, until (if at all) by some reason it starts contracting and time starts flowing!

OK so we killed the Universe. What about birth? Say there really was something called the Big Bang. Before the Universe 'unfurled' at the Big Bang, it was contained, compressed in some sort of an infinitecimal egg, so to speak. According to one prevelant school of thought, both Space and Time came into existence only at the Big Bang. Before that, there was Nothing. So then we reach the wall of what is this Nothing? What was 'really there' before the Big Bang? Here scientists find themselves internally fumbling and externally blabbering like Religion folks.

But if Law of Conservation of Space-Time can really be derived from Law of Conservation of Mass-Energy, then we get a different perspective. (Eistein reached mass-energy domain from space-time domain. I am talking of trying a reverse idea. Applying reverse kinda mathematical transforms and physics equations, starting from mass energy conservation equation), then it would mean this:

When universe was packed into an infinitecimal space ( or maybe a 'finitecimal' space, like finite speed of light ;) ), time effectively flowed at an infinite rate. So basically, any given 'moment' was actually infinite time. So the state of the Universe 'just before' the Big Bang or 'at' Big Bang could have existed over infinite time, over 'reverse eternity'! There does not have to be anything before the Big Bang. A scientific perspective on the Nothing before the Big Bang!

There are lots of Conclusions, Corollaries, Criticisms, Ifs and Buts about this idea running in my mind right now. Many of them are hazy. But those clearly visible and audible in my head right now are these:

1) If this principle is true, then is the Universe we see is nothing but a process of conversion of all Time Flow into all Space?

2) One prevelant view is that all the known and yet unknown laws of physics came into existence a few moments after the big bang (Some of them also give exact picoseconds (or some even greater negative power of ten) or something after big bang when this supposedly happened!). They say that at the big bang, all known laws of physics break down. Which basically means any weird thing can happen? And everthing happens just so? Just so means 'divinely'? Ah folks isn't that the domain of Religion? If the law I described is true and can be proved, and we backtrack things without making (perhaps unscientific) assumptions of laws (including this law) breaking down, then we get a scientific, consistent perspective at the origin of the universe? All other laws could also be extended back within the framework of this conservation principle?

3) Universe need not be space+time only as is currently assumed. That Space+Time need not have come to existence all of a sudden at big bang. There can be an all space and all time universe. They are two boundaries of universe existence, beyond which it does not exist.

4) There are also existing notions of Universe cooling down as it is expanding, owing to thermodynamics. So there is this notion of Universe totally cooling down - Heat Death of the Universe. Wonder how the proposed Time Death (all time flow converted to space, only space left but no time) of the universe relateds to the Heat death. Are they two different things? Like Cancer, Heart Attack, Gradual Tissue Degeneration are all different causes of Death?

Damn how I am itching to try the 'reverse derivation' right now! How I wish I had more exposure to the mathematics of such physics. All I did was study Engineering and make myself into a Stupid IT guy, and presently provide my services to increase the Stupid savings of an Insurance company through computer solutions :P!


* I am saying Overall Time Flow because under relativistic phenomenon, time flows different in different frames of motion, but may be there is some way of its Overall mathematical treatment across the Universe? Hey I know thats sounding Classical Newtonish absolute kind of thing rather than Relativistic, but if it is such an absurd idea, then scientist talking about 'age of universe' and stuff are basically giving bullshit. If they are not bullshitting, then there is some weight to my idea, though I don't know the technicalities :P)

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An Economical Post

Saturday, May 16, 2009
Some things are Interesting, some Taxing.
-Stupidosaur
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Yoohoo

Friday, May 15, 2009
Today I am going to reveal a few little known things about myself:

1) I am very good a forecasting future trends and fads.
2) I always try to look exactly like the most famous celebrity.
3) So I knew Zoozoos will become the most popular celebrities and hence I was working really hard since last two years to look exactly like them - untoned floppy limbs, a big ballooning tummy, and a stupid round face!

The first two points are big fat lies.
So is the third point true or a big 'fat' lie?

Anyways, as has been the recent trend, whenever I label a post as 'Nothing really related to post title', I also make it a point to make that label inapplicable. So this is how the title is actually related to the post:

In some cultures, they pronounce 'J' and 'Y' sound/write 'Y' sound as 'J' (whichever way you want to look at it :P)
eg. Benjamin pronounced as Benyamin, Hallelujah pronounced as Halleluyah!

So I have taken the linguistic liberty and formulated new rules:
'Z' sound can be written as 'H' or 'Y'.
'H' and 'Y' letters are to be pronounced as 'Z' sound.

Besides, looking like a celebrity is a matter of rejoicing, aint it ! So ..
Yoohooo!
Zoozoooo!

Bye. I need to go soosoooo!
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