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Pappu can dance in shala!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

"Apni toh pathshala, masti ki pathshala! (So....)

My heart goes shala la la la......!"

For those who do not speak hindi...

Shala = school in Hindi

Path = lesson in Hindi

Pathshala = Lesson School = School

Masti = fun (often mischevious)

"Apni toh pathshala, masti ki pathshala" = Ours is the school of fun

(A popular song from movie Rang De Basanti, in which a bunch of happy youngsters sing of their school of life, the school of fun)

And of course Shalalalala is the Vengaboyz song.

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I am such a 'forward' thinking person eh?

Saturday, September 27, 2008

I got an e-mail forward with subject line
"Best Drunk Conversation"
and only this pic in the body of mail.
I have a better subject line for the e-mail:
"One stoned guy chatting up another!"
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True Love Is Above the Criteria of a Pretty Nose

I never realised Manisha Koirala has a weird or peculiar nose.
But now I am having serious doubts.

I mean why is Anil Kapoor singing this song for her in the movie 1942 - A Love Story:

"Kuchh Naak Ho.......Kuchh Bhi Naak Ho......"
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A Tongue Twisting Simile

Thursday, September 25, 2008
"It was as unnecessary as a nun's accessory."

(Morning ablutions are always a tranquil timeless limbo of unintended unnecessary* inconsequential inspirations like this one)

* as unnecessary as a nun's accessory.
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Kya much much hai yaar!

Monday, September 22, 2008
Some people talk much.
Some people talk too much it seems like 'much much' (Kya much-much karta hai bey yeh!)
Still some others do too much of much much, and a few do much much much much!
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Nobody thinks of me. So no hiccups. But I think of hiccups (What???)

Busy these days. Other priorities. Anyways this is what was going in my head bathing in the morning semi-drowsy:

"*hics* ki goli lo, hichki door karo!"

(Rip off from the old vicks throat lozenges ad..

"Vicks ki goli lo, khichkhich door karo!"

I think this morning the hiccups were probably having hiccups, cos I was thinking of them ;)
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Amitabh song twisted to fit another Amitabh movie

Thursday, September 18, 2008
AB sung:

Rang barse, bheegey chunar wali rang barsey!

Adaptation for Sholay;
Run Gabbar sey, bhagey Ramgarh waley run Gabbar se!
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Yay! I "Draw an Award"!

I know the title does not seem very catchy. I chose it just because Draw an Award is a palindrome.

Totally out of the blue I have been given a blogger award!I say totally out of the blue because thats the colour of the blog template of the young lady who gave it to me.

Meet my patron: Heer Pathak alias Hydrogen Pops.

(Wait, since she is female, shouldn't I call her a matron instead of patron? Naah it will sound aunty types and I will get an excahnge offer from HP. She will take back the award and give me a sound beating in exchange. So lets stick to 'patron'. More so in veiw of my post on gender pecific language.)

She is a young lady who dearly loved her school and misses it bad. She blogs along with a cosy little gang of girls from her school. (Cosy and gang may not seem to go together, but thats what they seem to be ;-) )

She writes whatever is on her mind- friends, incidents, anecdotes, thoughts. The posts have a light funny friendly feel and reinforce what she claims to be: plump.happy-go-lucky.book-worm.cancerian. (Plump included as-is only too irritate you HP. Your profile pic doesn't quite reinforce it :-). Uff yeh aaj kal ki ladkiyan. Insaanon jaisi dikhna hi nahin chahti. Jab tak lakdi se bhi patli haalat nahin ho jaati, plump mehsoos karti hain :P)

She does have one quirk though. She finds my Stupid posts to be an inspiration for making jokes!!!

Me? Inspiration? Joke? Naah! Or maybe yes, Me for Inspiration is definitely a Joke!

All in all, a she is blog buddy to cherish and visit for all times :)

And here's what she gave me: :)

I have to pass it on to some of my other blog buddies whom I want to award it too.
But GTG. Awarding ceremony in one of the next episodes :)

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The never ending story....

Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Just on a whim I have decided to start this post.
Anyways these days the Little Reptile is a wee bit busy to write Stupid little rants.
So this is good enough for a quick post.

From today, we start a 'Never Ending Story' on this blog.
I have taken the idea of collective story writing from Pri's blog.
You can read 'our works' on her blog here here and here.

I have modified the rules of story writing we did on Pri's blog to suit my liking.
The rules are:
1) The story will begin with a sentence I will give at the end of this post.
2) We will all continue the story one comment by one comment
3) You can write upto 3 sentences in a comment.
4) You cannot post two consecutive comments. You must wait till at least one person comments after your comment.
5) Do not post something inappropriate. It is upto my discretion to delete anything I find 'inappropriate'. (Its my blog :P)
6) To indicate that a particular comment of yours is actually something you want to say and not simply continuation of story, begin it with ******* (number of stars have not been counted)
7) A comment such as one described in point 6) will not be considered as comment with regard to point 4)
8) Every few days/weeks/months (depends on how enthusiasticially and frequently you excercise your creativity!) I'll publish a new chapter of our story. When a new chapter gets published as a post, we will continue our comments on that post. All the chapters will be under the tag 'The Never Ending Story...' for continuous read.
9) The story can have any genre and you can change it anytime you want!
10) Characters can be introduced. However if you are telling story of existing character, make sure you remember the name and context. Do not confuse us all. (Don't worry we'll all correct each other when we notice). Same goes with places etc.
11) List of names/places will be included in another post and will be linked from every post under the tag 'The Never Ending Story...' to help you out with point 10)

So people, let your creativities loose! Together we can! (Haha don't ask me "Together we can what?" I don't know how horrible an answer we are gonna create. But thats the fun ;) )

The story begins:

The Roko folks of Wee Village had begun stirring in their houses. Nobody had the slightest hunch that the lazy morning would soon turn into a "Holy Moly! What the heck!" afternoon.
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Stupid managers who deal with things in 'high level' ways

Saturday, September 13, 2008
Managers like to deal with executive summaries and 'high level' information.

I honestly feel that's a very foolish way of working. What the hell has humanity come to?

Here is a symbolic example of how its so so wrong...

Say there is a report that describes what a great player Sachin Tendulkar is.
The executive summary: Sachin is a great player!

So what does the manager do?
He puts in Sachin in a Football field, "Go on sonny boy, I heard you are a great player. Go play!"

Sachin fumbles wondering "What the.....!"
Since he is caught in the situation, he tries getting on with the game.

In the end Sachin gets kicked out cause he couldn't kick.

OK you say. Good for him. Now he can get back to cricket. Right? Wrong!

Now his track record executive summary says,
"Pathetic player. So got kicked out"

So the no manager is interested in him in future, cos they will only look at this new high level summary.

They will show him the door, totally unaware of what they are missing out on and depriving sports world of.

Lets see another analogy.

A manager types person, who doesn't really understand art much might say

Mona Lisa executive summary : Its a portrait of a lady in gown with folded hands and a dumb look on her face.

So another manager types person will think he has found Mona Lisa when he sees this :

The difference lies in the details stupid!

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Aapkey Paison ki Hajamat

"Nike Shop"
Translates to
"Nai Ki Dukaan"
(Barber's shop)

(After all, proper nouns don't change between languages)
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Google Chrome was not built in a day

Friday, September 12, 2008
Rome was not built in a day.
Because builders knew the property will not sell so fast.
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Reason why Birthday Bumps should be given on the bums

After all he/she is the buttday boy/girl right?
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When Shankar Ehsan Loy go heavy metal...

Wednesday, September 10, 2008
If Shankar Ehsaan Loy go all Metallica, will they be called Shankar Ehsaan Alloy?
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Kya hai Anuman?

Why is he named Hanuman when they say he has never been on Honeymoon?
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NEOwwwww! Such a ridiculous post can't actually be!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008
They say it takes one to know one.

They say it for so many sutuations.

Whether 'one' is a 'winner', a good scientist, a great businessman, a great ex-sportsperson selecting a sportsperson, etc.

(Oh did I mention 'a great programmer'?
Actually thats why nobody around knows or understands that I am a great programmer ;)

But what about 'The One'?
It takes 'The One' to know 'The One'?
But if there is another 'The One' to know 'The One', there would be no 'The One' left. Cos there will be two 'The Ones' for a very short instant, and then because of that itself, both will cease to be 'The One' by violationg its definition.

So I wonder how Oracle and Morpheus recognised 'The One' in Matrix.

Anyways, that was all fiction.
In real life, by the above argument derived from the basic idea or definition of 'The One', there are only two possibilities
1) 'The One' cannot exist and be real
2) If there happens to be a real 'The One', none will come to know it.
Anyways, whether The One may or may not be,

we definitely have David The-1.

And perhaps because of his name, he made so many 'No 1' movies
Shaadi No 1
Jodi No 1
Biwi No 1
Hero No 1
Coolie No 1
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The Flintstones and Jetsons hour!

One lazy Sunday morning I woke up with a small magazine (nothing to do with guns) next to my pillow. Perhaps my father had been reading it the previous day while sleeping here.
The magazine features real life stories with morals and such stuff. Often it features some anecdotes written by religious men, freedom fighters, etc. (Daddy likes the magazine for its rustic olden days feel. He says its stories are the kind his father used to tell him and his siblings)

Being still lazy and half sleeping, I opened the magazine at a random page. I did not even bother to start the story/anecdote from the beginning. It was some story about how the author had promised somebody to be at some place in case some particular event happened. And perhaps teh event actually happened, and now it was an obligation on the author's part tp be there. Actually I have absulutely no idea why he needed to be there, cos I had not read it from the beginning. But then thats part of the fun. (Read: Lazy fellow justifying laziness).

But the author was in a dilemma. He described some bus routes he took. In the last lap of his journey, his pittstop was some charitable organisation or something (Forgot) where he used to work in those days. The bus fare from that place to his destination was 3 paisa (The 'so cheap' days). But he was totally broke. So he kept walking to and fro in front of his place of work wondering if he should ask the chief lady over there for 3 paisa. He knew she would not refuse, but did not like to ask.

Suddenly he heard the postmen go inside the building and ask for his name. He went in there and presented himself. Turned out it was a money order for him. Rs 3!

So the author says (No the story continues, this is not THE MORAL of this story) that his belief that God is great got so reinforced by this. All he needed was 3 Paisa, and God sent him 64 times that amount!

On reading this I was wide awake. I couldn't care less how the story continued and what the moral was supposed to be. Usually this magazine has quite a number of typos because they have to run it at low operational costs as not many buy it. But what I just read seemed to be something totally diffeernt from typo, and too freaky in a way that I will soon tell you ( If you arent the smarty-types who have guesed it by now)

I told father, "Dad has your old magazine suddenly become ultra modern?"
"Heck they have written things in Hexadecimal numbering system*!"
"Look at this. (Showed him that sentence) 3 Rs is obviously 100 times 3 Paisa. But instead of writing in decimal, they wrote in Hexadecimal. In Hexadecimal we write 100 (of decimal) as

100 (decimal) = 96 (decimal) + 4 = 6 x 16 + 4 = 60 (Hexadecimal) + 4 (Hexadecimal) = 64!!!!

And thats exaclty what they wrote 3 Rs is 64 times 3 paisa they have written!

And then dad solved the mystery. In those days, in the old currency system,

1 Re = 16 Anna
1 Anna = 4 Paisa
1 Paisa = 3 Pai

So 1 Re = 16 X 4 Paisa = 64 Paisa
So 3 Rs = 64 X 3 paisa!

Strange is the world
In olden days,
1 Re = 64 paisa.
In modern days,
1 Re = 100 paisa.
But in modern days, 100 (dec) = 64 (hex)
1 Re = 64 paisa.

The more things change, the more they remain the same! (well not really ;))
But being the naive cartoon network watching types (at least until few years ago), all that the above conclusion makes me think of is "The Flintstones and Jetsons hour"
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The Bollywood song on Static Electricity

"Babuji zara dheerey challo...
->Bijli Khadi<- yahan ->Bijli Khadi<-"

Actually I was just in a mood to spoil this song (or any song).
Something fit, but could not continue :(....

"Nano mein Singur-iyan..samjho naa.................."

Some of you can suggest something.....
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These words kinda play with my mind

Saturday, September 6, 2008
These words kinda play with my mind...


Even though
-I don't fancy onion.
-I've never done opium
-I don't have too many opinions (did I ever present any on the blog?)

See how they sound the same, look the same and how they have only
the successive vowels - i, o, u
the successive alphabets - m,n,o,p

(Ah this fellow will not stop at anything in making inane posts :P.

Anyways what the heck is he talking about?
"See how they sound the same"??!!!
You can only see a sight and hear a sound. How does he expect you to see how they sound? :P

Maybe its some special skill that only the three monkeys of Gandhiji possess)
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Favourite Himes song of an electronics engineer

ASIC banaya...ASIC banaya...ASIC banaya aapney!

(ASIC = Application Specific Integrated Circuit, as far as I remember what I studied years ago)
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Country ruled by vegetables?

How come present US leaders have names of vegetation?
One is a Bush. Other is Rice. :P

Pls I do not have enough political knowledge to judge their capacity/incapacity. The title is just wordplay.


Added inspired from Nitin's comment:

They also have Dick "Cheney".

"Bhaiya 5 Rupay ke Sing-Cheney do mujhey."

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A-Z kiya hai... (I R Sad! I R Sad!)

Friday, September 5, 2008

I have picked this tag voluntarily from Solitaire's blog post. Usually I do not fancy tags much, but this sounded fun and challenging.

The rule is to write a poem or prose using all the letters of the English alphabet wherein each consecutive letter makes up the first letter of every word.

Here goes my attempt:

Alpha Baboon cartwheeled, danced enthusiastically for groups hysterically insanely jeering

"Kingkong! Lovely moves!"

Now our Pappu quit, recognising sarcastic taunts.

Unwanted, vanished weeping, xenophobic, yearning Zen.


The story of the tag.........

A to Z.

Alpha to Omega

So A=Alpha was fixed.

Made it into Alpha Baboon as a joke on 'Alpha Male'.

So what does a monkey do eh? "Naach Jamburey!" for the crowd huh?

So my baboon started cartwheeling and dancing enthusiastically for the crowds !

I imagined the crowd cheering. But all I had was a 'j' and not 'c' . So fine! 'Jeering' it is! :P

Now all this kinda still fit in the initial picture I had. You know Pappu right? Muscular, Popular, Bachelor, Spectacular and all that? Ah! A typical alpha male! But Pappu can't dance saala! So when he tries to dance, our alpha male turns into an alpha baboon! So P was fixed for Pappu.

And 'my story so far' although derived from a street-entertainer's monkey dancing for the crowds, still kinda fit with the concept of Pappu's friends making fun of his dance moves at the party. I wanted to end it in similar light, joking, friendly vein.

But the letters, my mind and my theme just did not co-operate.

So you see the tragic, philosophical end result. :P

Hmm I do have different sides to me...


Even though its not necessary, let me explain the title too....

Yeh tag jo meine kiya hai, woh A-Z related hai.

Which means, A-Z kiya hai.

Par jab koi sher-o-shayari shuru karta hai, "ArZ kiya hai..",

to sab kehte hain, "Irshaad! Irshaad!"

And considering its a 'sad post', I was going to play on it and say "Ir-sad, Ir-sad"

But naaah! The associative moron that my mind is, it had to flash think another 'ass'ociation.

There is a cartoon "I Am Weasel" which aired on Cartoon network in India till at least about 5 years ago (when I last watched it) . As you can see in this Wiki link, Weasel is an 'alpha male', while another main character in the cartoon 'I.R.Baboon' is a total dimwit, who says "I R (are) Baboon." instead of "I am Baboon."

And the incident described in my sol. (solution) to the sol (Solitaire's) tag could probably happen to Baboon. And he will say "I R( are) sad."

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Dream of all (most) girls

I guess the parliament building of Germany is the most eligible bachelor. Its a Rich Stag.
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Born on wrong planet

That life form felt as miserable as Ayn Rand in the world of illiterates.
Maybe being Chetan Bhagat would have been easier.
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Its all about accuracy!

What were Saddam's standing orders to his troops?

"Don't just beat around the Bush. Beat Bush!"
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The veg non-veg party

Thursday, September 4, 2008
They all went to the party.
Half of them ate non-veg.
The other half ate Nan - Veg.

(Yep they all preferred Nan over Tandoori, what can I do? :P)
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पश्चिम X पूरब मगर दक्षिण = उत्तर !

पूरब कभी पश्चिम नहीं बन सकता, मगर उत्तर दक्षिण ज़रूर हो सकता है!

बात मानने में नहीं आती? तो यह पढिये:

निम्नलिखित सवाल का एक शब्द में जवाब दीजिये :-
प्रश्न : ऑस्ट्रेलिया पृथ्वी के किस गोलार्ध में आया हुआ है?
उत्तर: दक्षिण !

हुआ न उत्तर = दक्षिण !!!

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Tom Hanks has a peculiar name

Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Just imagine how Tom Hanks will sign off a letter in short:


Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh. Yada yada yada yada yada yada. Rant rant rant rant rant rant.

Some gibberish gibberish gibberish. Scribble scribble scribble scribble. jot jot jot jot and some more blah bleh blih bloosh.



As has become the norm, I add more nonsense to my nonsensical posts as an after'thought'.

I am posting this after about half an hour of the initial posting.



Tom writing to Tom. Good good.

Observe again.....



Look at the corresponding position names

"When Harry met Sally"??

I hadn't planned on this had just written the female names as they occured to me.

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The Nature of Emotions

Monday, September 1, 2008

I often wonder...
Are they the core language of the mind?
Are most basic level functioning of the thought process?
Are they to the human brain what machine language is to a microprocessor?

Or is it quite the contrary?
Are they the highest level of the thought process?
Are they the shorthand summary of thinking?
Are they to the human brain what a very high level language is like to a computer system?

There are days when I feel this way. Then there are days when I think that way.

Sometimes, even when you have the thought, you need to develop the feel to finally be able to do it. Thus it is just how a higher level language needs to be first converted to machine language code. Only then can it be executed. For us in this case the thought is the higher level language and the emotion is the lower level or machine language. (That I have used emotions and feelings interchangeably in the above discussion is inconsequential to me. I think the debate of their
difference of definition is purely academic.)

Then again I look at it in a different way and conclude differently.
Sometimes when I think a lot about something, the thinking gets fuzzier and fuzzier. Finally, there is just an emotion or feel left. That emotion or feel summarises the whole thought. Next time when I 'think that emotion' directly or indirectly, I am 'reminded of' all the thoughts I had thought. My mind can further derive and develop upon that thought by memerly attaching to and uploading that one summary emotion in memory. Such 'emotion thoughts' help me in every thing. Number processing, visualising, stc. So you see a very compact emotion carries in itself a lot of involved thought. Just like a single high level instruction may actually maps on to thousands of machine language instructions.

So what do you think? Emotions: The core form or the derived tool of the brain?
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