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Bugs Life

Thursday, May 21, 2009
Yes, bugs life.
That is what Stupidosaur does.
He bugs to no end any given intelligent life form that dares exist in his vicinity for a finite measurable time.

Case in point:

Time: Today afternoon.
Venue: The usual (Office Cafeteria).
Event: This...

(Curtains open)

Stupidosaur's back, which perhaps doesn't like to watch TV, is facing away from it. As a result, the TV, and some goreous bolywood actresses in it have grabbed this golden opportunity to look deep into Stupidosaur's eyes, which were hence facing them.

Just then, an unsuspecting Life Form arrives in the cafeteria and suddenly finds itself without the usual other Life Forms of its herd, with whom it feeds daily. Having not crossed paths with Stupidosaur often, and having totally failed to register the significance of the fact that all the chairs in the vicinity of Stupidosaur usually remained empty, the Life Form adjusted its Glutei Maximi (of course, with no tail between them) on a nearby chair. The empty chair had been happily orbiting Stupidosaur's table with zero velocity, until the the Life Form came along.

The back of this Life Form seemed to rather like watching TV. So Stupidosaur's nose and The Life Form's back merrily watched the TV while Stupidosaur's mouth uttered inconsequential innanities like...

"So, who do you think is gonna win this IPL?"
...and...
"Did you know Katrina Kaif may go and get a tonsure for one of her new roles?"
...and...
"So , do you think today's meeting will be cancelled?" (If it interests the reader, I would like to inform that it indeed got cancelled later on)
...and so on.

Just then Stupidosaur started looking at the TV with renewed interest, as if totally enthralled!
"Wow!...Look at that! The army of black bugs and army of white bugs is having a gala time fighting out an epic battle!"

At this the Life Form's head turned towards the TV, much to the annoyment of its back, whose peaceful Telly-watching thus got rudely interrupted! Just a few moments later, there came the head's turned to get annoyed, and in annoyment it started blasting words at the Stupidosaur.

"What black and white bugs! The transmission seems to have gone kaput! Its just showing static!"

Stupidosaur: "Exactly! That."

After a short processing time, it dawns upon the Life Form and it gives an irritated part-grin.

Then Stupidosaur's system hangs up for a while, after which it utters, "So who do you think will win?"

"What? IPL? I already told you. Just a little while ago. Rajasthan Royals!"
(Yes please forgive the Life Form. It has been very busy with work last fortnight, and doesn't exactly know the current affairs)

"No, not that. The bugs war. Who will win it"

"Umm white?"

"No. Black! Eventually they will switch off the TV"

----------------------------------------
Yeah. Bugs Life. Stupidosaur does!
-----------------------------------------

BTW, I have tried to get inspired from Doulgas Adams in the style of my narrative above, although I know its nowhere close to him in its humour, wordplay, sentence construction, weirdness, or complexity of plot or even readability :P)

Hope one day I grow up to be like him. (Except the part where he dies at 49 years of age due to myocardial infraction caused by constricted capillaries :P)
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11 comments :

HP said...

'tere pas' talent to hai ..
btw, 'terpas' is the word verification ;)

bachpan mey i used to ask my mum ..ki tv pe itne saare machchhar kyun aa gaye hain? tum abhi tak yahi sochte ho ?? badiya hai !! :D

Ghost Particle said...

//all the chairs in the vicinity of Stupidosaur usually remained empty// are you sure ur not in some school? the nerdy kid who gets laughed at?

:D

douglas adams, a genius, writer, science fiction dude. (i dont know where im getting with this)

Nitin said...

That white and Black Macchar still there .. i thot nowadays in case of signal lost it immediately turns to Blue/Black mode

saima said...

hmm..interesting narrative!

Only Vimal said...

This post is hilarious.
Can't stop smiling.

But yes, you cud hv added some more to it.

Overall, loved it.

ramya said...

interesting!
by the way.. i don't know who douglas adams is...!

Abhinav said...

Kahin aisa toh nahi ki That other life form interests Stupidosaur in some way?

Nothingman said...

Dude, Towel Day on 25 May :D carry your towel!

Cheers!

N

I am sure you must have read Terry Pratchett! Have you?

Ayushi said...

Wow...I'm surprised he dint call you StupidoSuar (What life form would that be? :P )

I mena, i actually refreshed this comments page again and again just to see the Word Verifications:"Phork" (would that be the cooked life form, eaten with a f**k(fork)? )

Ketan said...

I envy the other life form for the workplace he/she works in. In fact, I might envy any workplace where one gets to watch TV

Dishita said...

lifeform: ROFL!
Your blog makes my day no matter what time i read :)

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