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This Big Bang never happened - Good!

Sunday, May 17, 2009
Well I guess not many will really discuss the last post with me sensibly. So for now, chuck the Big Bang.

Whether Universe expands or not, this thing definitely did ;)....

The theory:

Basically, the Mad Scientist kept a perfectly normal half litre bag of milk in some remote corner of his kitchen and completely forgot about it. Four summer nights and four summer days it lay there, before it was discovered in the state you see above.
When the Mad Scientist discovered it, he thought, "Aha! Just in time!" That is, just in time for a Photo-op, and just in time to avoid a Nasty Surprise that would have gone 'Blooooofsh!' and forced him to clean up some yucky creamish creamy goop!
So what did the Mad Scientist do next?
1) He grabbed the photo-op!
2) He threw the budding and balooning model in the nearest public garbage dump. He actually waited two more days for the thing to go Blooooofsh! Unfortunately it never did. It shrunk back into a floppy lumpy little bag, even smaller than the original half litre bag of milk.
There are two hypotheses doing rounds in the scientific circles around this strange phenomenon:
1) Black Hole Theory:
The unprecedent occurance of bubbling white gloop enclosed in a extremely tight plastic boundaries led to the creation of a localised Black Hole. All the anti-dark matter got absorbed into it. But the disgusting taste of the stuff made the Black Hole faint. And further, owing to the soporific effects milk, it never woke up again. So everybody else lived happily ever after.
2) Mosquito Hole Theory:
Basically some mosquito sat on the bloated thing. And owing to the intense processed going on inside it, the rotund thing was quite warm. So when a passing mosquito sat on it, it though it had landed on somebody's butt and gave it a prick. (Yes mosquito's job has become very tough these days. Its very difficult to distinguish between a plastic bag of rotten milk. After all many humans are so plastic these days. eg. Aishwarya)
So what really happened?
An after-thought:
It is expected that Universe started expanding starting from the Big Bang. But this particular Big Bang was expected to happen after the expansion.
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  1. Theory No.3: or your curiosity got the better of you and you drank that 'matter'!!

    the universe did not begin. it ended, with Stupid drinking and then belching.


  2. Err.. the bag looks pregnant.
    The better theory is that due to heat, some milk got vaporized and that made the bag to inflate. It kept on increasing in size until the bag could not hold more milk vapors and thus, it blasted ;-)

  3. lots of theories...i guess i had studied science more seriously....would have been able to decipher better....BTW i found it hilarious....keep walking!!!

    ....and as far as vote is considered .. I coudn't as I have shifted to Delhi ... so may be next time, i would....

  4. I think its nothing but just that you want to frighten kids who have given 10th board and just want to prepare for IIT JEE...

  5. You threw away such and astounding opportunity? You should have left it in place and done some time lapse photography.

    Great post.


  6. chk chk chk....lizards are out banging everywhere these days ;)

  7. oo ! i like the black hole theory better.

    you blog has the weirdest word verifications: 'holda' this time.

  8. @Nachi

    I am entirely a bad egg. There is no 'better of me' that curiosity can get :P

    Your theory is bunk!

    Aha now we know what really happened! Mommybag delivered and got small and wasted (without caring Familybag members to nurse it!) Babybag ran out of the kitchen window before Stupidosaur noticed!

    Damn! Why didn't you tell me earlier! Then I would have kept Mommybag under close supervision. I would have nurtured and raised the Babybag. The Mommybag would keep giving me new Babybags every 4-5 days. They would give more baby bags and soon I would have developed a thriving brave new business - Milkbag Poultry Farm!

    I would have defeated India's (or is it Asia's) largest dairy - Amul!

    BTW your first theory rocks! So second can't be true. Such high vapour pressure probably cannot build up unless one places the bag on a gas stove. I clearly remember that I did not do that :P


    Good that you did not study science too seriously! Otherwise on reading such crap, you would have immediately died, got autoburried irrespective of your religion, and then would have instantly started turning in your grave!

    And about voting, sure, do it next time. But I am not sure whether your vote will count. Does it know maths?

  9. @abhinav
    JEE nahin! I just wanted to entertain some 10th 'bored' kids!

    err..yeah..I think that was the general intention! :P
    Thanks :)

  10. @Mads
    Yeah I do try ya know!


    Velu's come?
    Velucome to my blog!

    About time lapse photography:

    Sorry I do not wan't to risk the bag bursting and splattering my camera lense!
    Why don't you try it and show us the results.

    Its very simple:
    1) Take a milk bag
    2) Keep it in a corner where it is relatively hot in the afternoon
    3) Conveniently forget about it for 4-5 days

    Please consider this song lyrics as my comment ;)

    ok then in your honour, I'll change the last lines of that theory to this (Maybe ;) ):

    ...owing to the soporific effects milk, it never woke up again. So everybody else lived HP-ly ever after.

  11. Loved your theories.

    This is how the science evolves.

    I always get a stupid question in my mind... What took Newton so many years to notice that the apple falls down...!!

    But Am proud of you. ;) :P

  12. i liked the various angles the matter in the bag was photographed!!!!

  13. Seeing ur names on Sayesha's commentors never thought there really could be a STUPIDOSAUR who could actually justify the name!!
    Bow in Respect!!
    Loved the second logic


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