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Stupid Shopkeepers!

Sunday, June 28, 2009
Play 1

Scene 1 , Day 1, Shop 1

Shopkeeper : Aur Kuchh?
Stupidosaur : Bas.
(Shopkeeper turns to other customers.)
(Stupidosaur leaves, but smiles mischeviously just when getting off the shop's steps.)

Scene 2, Day 2, Shop 2

Shopkeeper : Aur Kuchh?
Stupidosaur : Bas.
(Shopkeeper is about to turn to other customers.)
Stupidosaur : Arrey kidhar ja rahe ho?!!! Kaha naa mujhe bas chahiye!
(Shopkeeper with somewhat confused look, is still trying to figure out if Stupidosaur is talking to him)
Stupidosaur : (Acting somewhat angry, in a huff and hurry) Khair rehne do. Bas stop se hi le loonga bas :P!
(Stuipdosaur makes a quick escape to the nearby bus stop and catches the bus that had luckily stopped at that moment. So if shopkeeper realised after a few moments, that what Stupidosaur actually needed was Onnnnnnnnne Tightttttttt Slaaaaaap, it was a few moments too late!)


Play 2

Waiter : Aur kuchh chahiye sir?
Stupid : Haan. Chahiye.
Waiter : Kya laaoon sir?
Stupid : Ab mujhe ek aisi cheez laa kar do, jo menu mein hai hi nahin!
Waiter : Aisa toh nahin milega sir. Aap menu dekho. Bohot kuchh hai. Sab variety. Menu main se jo bhi mangta hai, sab milega.
Stupid : (acting mighty pissed) Arrey kaisa hotel hai! Menu mein nahin hai to dogey nahin? Arrey customer jo bhi maangey leke aana chahiye. Ho nahin, toh bana key lana chahiye!
Waiter : (trying to appease, tries a different angle) OK sir. Aap bataiye. Mein try karta, kitchen ko bolta.
Stupid : (with a vague generic glint in his eye, a glint so generic, it could be taken to mean anything the onlooker may want it to mean) Lekin, mujhe jo chahiye woh to khana hai hi nahin!
Waiter : (Surely his brain reached the conditon of a just-served sizzler....chhsssssssssss!Phsssssssssssssss!Crackle!Pop!)...errr
Stupid : Mujhe bill chahiye! Bana ke lao! Menu mein likha nahin hai. Fir bhi!

About the title:
Stupid is not an adjective for Shopkeepers.
Its more like Vikram Vetal ;-)

About the labels:
Play 2 and Play 1 Scene 1 have truly happened. Hence the label.
Play 1 Scene 2 haven't. (Yet ;-) ). Hence the label.
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Anonymous said...

he bhagwaan! poor waiter! stupidosaur ko aur koi kaam nahi hai kya?

Vinisha said...


:) I'd beat you up

Sur said...

i read ur comment at Scribblers Inc... shit yu gt some kinda free time... nyway it was too damn hilarious n entertaining...
becareful when yu do that with a waiter... if yu were in america, m sure he'd sue yu fr it!! in case u're wondering wat m talkin abt, get ur hands on readers digest - june issue... well i guess m jus blabbering now!! tc... keep writing :)
p.s. - don mess around with ppl too much... yu don want broken bones rite?? ;) keep safe

Nachi said...

*sigh*...you took the art of raining hathodas to the next level.

i agree, what Stupid needs is Onnnnnnnnne Tightttttttt Slaaaaaap


Anonymous said...

God!! ur sooo hilarious!! and really mean!! :P poor waiter :)


HP said...

i guess them both after the first few lines. am i becoming brilliant-er ? .... or stupider?

lucky you get get the bus just at the right moment in you imagination. have you imagined the worst case scenario?

chinmai said...

hehe.. 2nd one of the waiter..funny..

Pree-yea.... said...

Is it just me or those shopkeeper jokes are actually PJs..? :P
But the waiter thing is hilarious!!

Vyzz said...

oh god..ur really mad



Unknown said...

i knew ud say bill! but the bas was too cool!!!

Anonymous said...

Agar main shopkeeper hoti na... ;)

♪♪Happy Go Lucky♪♪ said...


so pj-ish you are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the bas laake do was to, bas ram hi rakhi, like they say!!!!

divsi said...


Only Vimal said...

The scene 2 is like asking texiwala... Delhi jaayega? if he says yes, tell him to go... (Toh jaao na.)

he he he

Abhishek Behera said...

btw anagram of shopkeepers is shokesppeer(shakespeare) - tum ache plays likte ho...

Amrita~Ams said...

u r so insane :|...

Nisha said...

bechara waiter!!good one!

Ekam said...

Dono bechare!! :D

Police complaint nai kari kisi ne kya

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