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Bachna Ae Haseeno...LOMA Aa Gaya! Part 1

Friday, October 2, 2009
Oops I meant

...Lo Main Aaa Gaya...Kyonki LOMA chala gaya!!!

LOMA ka matlab I'L(L TELL) U I'L(L TELL) U!

For one, LOMA is what I wrote with 'typo' as LMAO in previous post ;).

But what is LOMA anyways?

Well, till 8-9 months back even I didn't know or care what LOMA is.
Now I know, but doesn't mean I care ;). Of course I know, but not exactly. Probably because I don't care! Not really care.

Then how did I find myself in the middle of this LOMA mess? Of course I haven't yet explained "What LOMA mess?" either, but I guess both will be answered together!

As some of the old folks here, and some of the new folks who have 'grown old with the blog' acceleratedly will know, I got into a new job a little less than a year ago. At the new place, our customer, who is an insurance and finance giant, and for whom I write stupid business programs on mainframe computers, prefers all puny little beings who work for it to be 'LOMA certified'.

Did you just ask what the heck is 'LOMA certified'? OK OK again I am running ahead of myself. Lets get some basics out of the way...

Well LOMA is some (pretty big) association that conducts research and educational activities to help its member financial companies and their people work better.

Here are some more details if you really want to know...

So if you read the first question amongst the FAQs you will realise that LOMA is an association which itself doesn't know any more what LOMA acronym currently stand for ! ;-)

I myself have not read most of the above two links. If you do find something interesting in them , (though I really doubt if that is possible!) tell me about it in the comments section ;-)

Now that we have the generic stuff out of the way and out of sight and out of mind, lets get back to my life's connection with LOMA.

Because client prefers employees to have it so that they understand better what the heck they are doing/programming, my manager had set one of my annual goals as 'getting LOMA 280 certification'. Half yearly appraisal went by and I had not met this goal (but appraisal was a normal decent one, don't worry ;) ) So I registered for it 3 months back and got a big 400 page book to study, with same title and topics in the course link I gave above. Book can be obtained from company library only after paying course fees (licence issues) and once the fees are paid (40 US $) you have only 3 months to study and clear the exam. The fees are deducted from salary. If you clear the exam in 3 months, company refunds them otherwise they are lost.

400 (full size) pages and 3 whole months may sound pretty easy, but throw in 9 official hours in office per day (10-11 hours actually due to deadlines etc :P), huge tendency to waste free time online, a Stupid person, and a kind of subject that Stupid doesn't really like, then its not such a piece of cake!

My 3 months to give the exam were ending on 30 Sep. That is why I stopped blogging 3 weeks back.

The good news is, I cleared the stupid exam on 30th, with 97 % score.
Nice. But pretty inconsequential :P.

Well, if its such a pointless exam, why did I apparently get so serious about it?
1) Confidence building activity. I can do anything I want to do, or need to do even if I may not really care to do it.
2) I was spending too much time online. Proved self restraint.
3) When I joined the company, within a month or so I got the nickname of Don. Of course that Don is always preceded by 2 syllable abbreviation of my name, which I will not mention here ;). Stupid Don doesn't sound well either so not mentioning it with that representative modification either ;). However, along with that compact consolidated compliment, I was have also been at the receiving end of hostilities from my colleagues, precisely for being SO AWESOME! There were also some slanders about me being just a phoney. But I have got an 'IN YOUR FACE!!!' attitude and so never miss any opportunity to show them that I really am SO AWESOME!!! Of course showing off to them is just an added advantage. I do good for myself in the process ;)
4) I would and would not like to do higher studies like MBA or MS. I have different pro and con reasons for both of them. I may or may not blog about them some day. I may or may not do one of the two things one day. But at least studying for this exam brought me in contact with academics after 4 years, which does good to confidence (which I already mentioned in point 1). So if I do the course some day, I will have the memory of these few days of intense reading to boost me up.
5) I had become a horribly nocturnal and indoor (office + home) creature, sometimes sleeping as late as 4-4:30 in the night, then simply waking up and going to work. For studying I experimented with early morning studies and found mornings to be beautifully exhilarating! I have even taken some early morning pics which I may post on my photography blog (which I have not started yet). I studied on terrace, benches under trees etc. So nocturnal and indoor tendencies have reduced. Even after the exam on 30th I have woken early/been out more. My energy at work has increased in spite of hectic schedules **
6) I was trying out a new technique of 'motivation' 'self restraint' etc. I publicly declared that I will not blog for three weeks. If I did, it would be INCREDIBLY STUPID. So imagine if I did blog, and I did do bad at LOMA 280 and also maybe at the hectic work deadlines ** that I have these days! Then I would know that I did act INCREDIBLY STUPID, and that too everyone is quite aware about it. That post might have bit at me in times to come. So by writing that post, I had checkmated myself in public. Expect that I will use similar technique in times to come! (Of course I did bloghop and comment around (though very little) and also chatted/emailed some blog fellows who correspond with me on id write.to.stupidosaur@gmail.com. I guess thats why I got 97% and not 100%. It was an objective test after all! Damn!

P.S. : From comments in last post, it seems some of you actually thought I was on a vacation. If anything work** has been a lot more hectic :P.

** Continuation Part 2 post on bad workloads during these same 'no blogging' and LMAO oops typo' days. Though it will probably not be as long. I will only be dumping what I am not adding to this one due to lack of time. Going to sleep now. Bye!

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  1. Wow Stupidosaur, I'm so happy for you (really am)!

    I could completely understand all the things you were saying in the post about challenging oneself, exercising restraint, and playing mind games with oneself. :)

    Sorry about wishing you "enjoy" in your previous post.

    Am very happy to find (a) mention(s) in your post! :D

    So your nickname is 'don'?

    Wondering if you'd find the name of this drug interesting! Even its pharmacological actions are somewhat similar!

    Though there's no guarantee, you (your feat) might become a source of inspiration for me to work harder! :)

    That 3% you lost, that you're complaining about, is merely service *tax* for preventing you from experiencing withdrawal symptoms because of suddenly abstaining from all blog-related activities. :P You know who's taxing, right?

    I could find nothing interesting in those links. You should be ashamed for putting those obnoxious links in this post. But you could as well be proud if your intentions were somewhat sadistic--like punishing readers who'd be unduly curious of any and everything you post on your blog! ;) As it is I wouldn't get LOMA certification merely by going through those links.

    Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations!!!

    Now truly, enjoy!


    PS: In the meantime, I'll continue with my parallel processing of stupidity as a part of my stupiduty!

  2. Stupii.
    Congratulations! For acing LOMA test and all.

    But...you write business programs on mainframe computers? I thought you'd be more in the Creative sector.
    I honestly thought that you were this hugely famous writer and were in disguise as Stupidosaur. Really. Like maybe you're the guy who writes all the ad lines, and I'd somehow figure out who you were from your posts and then I'd do a pol-khol. Haha...jk. :D

    Anyway, gladdddd that you're back.

    Keep bloggin'!

    P.S. Four years since you've been out of touch from academics...you're 26?

  3. Srishti,

    Quite possibly, Stupidosaur is actually one of the copy writers/creative writers, and is only trying to misguide you giving all those LOMA-links. Think of it, is there actually any proof that he spent all that time preparing for LOMA?

    You could never trust people (sorry, reptiles) like Stupidosaur. They're extremely clever. With his kind of general knowledge and intelligence, he could've easily passed of as a veterinary doctor, or a (human's) reptilian doctor, or a doctor for reptiles, or an economist, or a professor of Hindi, or a Bollywood script writer, or a chef, or a Volvo bus driver, or a photographer, or a simple brutal carnivorous dinosaur, or an equally brutal herbivorous dinosaur!

    BTW Stupidosaur, did you tell your mom something to the effect--"Lo Ma, LOMA certification"?

    But Srishti, I doubt if Stupidosaur is any of the things I've speculated in my comment. :(

    TC, both of you!

  4. 97% :O
    Congrats :D

    oh by the way, you just aroused a curiosity in me..about your name!

  5. Feeling like ROFLing at *some* of the comments above!

    Sorry Stupidosaur, can't help it!

    Plurals are the new fashions. ;) You only started it with this post. :P

  6. @Ketan

    LOL @ drug name.
    Double LOL because around 10 years ago, in a particular group of friends, I was also called 'Tarzan'. Not because of muscles or anything like that, but because of long uncut unkempt hair! ;)

    In fact, yesterday when telling about 'Don' it occurred to me that I can make a very interesting blog post with all nicknames I've had in last quarter century and more!

    Irrespective of inspriration or expiration, padh bey :P! In fact inspiration and expiration done in right way might help you concentrate. I don't have much experience in this dept but thats what yoga and science would make us believe.

    And actually its you not me who should be ashamed (if at all anyone should be) if you read that whole damn thing! Like I said, even I haven't! And this blog is not intended to give any punishment-fun ishment :P. Ok Fun-ishment, maybe. But no punishment :P.

    Aur kya khaak truly enjoy! Hectic workloads are still going on. I went to office today, and will probably need to go tomorrow too :P

  7. such a long read and yet all i get to say is congrats!

  8. Truly double LOL @ that drug's name, then!

    And I did not read the whole thing, of course! Just 5-6 lines. Didn't make any sense to me. Wondering what could've been there in those 400 pages book!

    And your "padh bey" was very effective! Reminded me of my classmates when they used to try to force me into studying when I'd dole out dhaasu lines like "sleep is not under my voluntary control"! :P

    Aur sunday ko office? :( Office ko goli maar, yaar! Aur usasey bhi kaam na baney toh bazooka se gola maar!

    But before that, let me develop a new drug (missile) called bazoodone! ;)

  9. @bondgal (rules sounds funny to add when addressing you :P)

    Yeah Don :P
    Koi Shaq? Koi apatti?

    Anyways, it wasn't like I went "Main Hoon Main Hoon Main Hooon DON!" when they started calling me that.

    My initial response was to bring out my bicycle key out of my pocket and hold it next to my face. Then I kept pointing at the key and my face alternately. But they didn't get it. So I had to speak it out while still pointing..."Key..Don...Don...Key...Get it? Since this key and this don usually go together, you are basically looking at a DonKey!"

    And why do you want to be a 'Bondgal'? In my mind, bond gals are meant for just one thing in the movie. That scene is present in lots of Bond movies, and probably all of bond movies. Its this...

    Bond and Bondgal are running towards the camera...and suddenly they leap at the camera, semi superman style, just when an huge fire of explosion goes BOOOM! behind them. Classic Bond-Bondgal scene. Ever noticed it? I laugh at the cliche every time it comes (inevitably) in any Bond movie I see, totally disrespecting the seriousness of the escape or climax scene!

    Anyways, one of the nicknames I had was 'James' too. LOL! lots of funny nickname coincidences going on in comments section today!

  10. Or you mean Bondgal as in female James Bond?

  11. @Ramya

    Name? How about 'I the legendary baby Ganesh?' ;)

    Naah! Stupid is as Stupid does m'am !

    Anyways 97% in objective questions based on a 400 pg book doesn't sound much. Tum ho jo padhai ke maamle mein jhandey gad rahi ho aaj kal!

    As I said, this exam is insignificant.

  12. @HP,

    I wrote such a long post for you. At least you could have sung a song for me...

    Congratulations...and jubilations!
    We are happy that you've conquered the world!

    Ok fine. I didn't really achieve much. So song was uncalled for I agree.

  13. Lol @ DonKey. :P wonder who was actually the donkey back there. :P :D

    And it took you 2 comments and a minute to realise what my nick means. :P

  14. @Srishti

    Sorry you are the only one I didn't reply to. Its not that I missed your comment. I started after reply to Ketan. Got long. Am busy. Draft saved. Will continue, finish, publish.

  15. i did not read the whole article... when u can get the jist by reading the comments....why read the whole thing...
    anyways i m so happy i turned out to be lucky for you this time and u got 97%.. i m sooo soo proud of you. and myself;)


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