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Cricket: Why and what I think of Chetan Bhagat...

Thursday, April 30, 2009

So again (as usual) I was watching the IPL in the office cafeteria .

Today's teams: Mumbai Indians vs Kings XI Punjab.

There I was, nicely devouring the food and the sights and sounds.

Suddenly I was interrupted by a thought (an irritating thought actually!): Chetan Bhagat!

Guess why?

At that point in the match, KXIP were playing at the run-rate of 5.71. Thats why!


Five Point Seven One.

Five Point Sevm One.

Five Point Some One.

Chetan Bhagat.


Thats why I thought about him.

Here is what I think about him:

I read only1 book of his: Five Point Someone.

Its a bland blearrrrghhish book.

Nothing ever happens.

No drama, no suspense, no romance, no spook, no great philosophy, no beautiful wordplay.


He sells because thats the kind of book MAJORITY are hardly CAPABLE of reading I guess :P.

If I read a book or watch a for free and still I claim not to like it, it probably means it was genuinely bad.

I read this one for free. My roomie had bought it.

I guess it didn't stand a miniscule chance to get liked by me because it was nowhere in the league of other books I was reading in those same 15-20 days:

Shantaram (roommate's)

Shalimar the clown (roommate's)

Black Friday - true story of Bombay bomb blasts (roommate's)

Some Stephen King book (purchased from waste paper mart)


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'Good' Question!

Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Good {{ Better {{ Best.

"Best before" is the date before which it is best.
So after that does it become better?
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The worse the best the better!

Monday, April 27, 2009
Is this post something like "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly"?

Did I accidentally miss the commas between between "the worse", "the best" and "the better"?

Is the "The Good, The Bad, The Ugly" a sentence?

Is "The worse the best the better!" a sentence?
Yes it is.

Still not making sense? It will, with a bit reference to context...

I was half-interestedly watching the opening of KKR batting in IPL yesterday night while aving dinner in the office canteen. I call it 'yesterday night' for the simple reason that its past midnght now :P

They were showing the statistics of the opening pair: McCullum and Gayle. I am a person who does not follow anything very keenly, especially things which everybody follows keenly. So I don't really know what big stars these two blokes are. I was just judging them based on the numbers I saw then.

McCullum IPL statisctics:
Best: Something above 150
Total: Something around 250
Average: Around 30
(Please note: All quantities are in 'run' units*
250/30= around 8
These 100 were made in the 7 innings other than the 'highest score' 'fluke' innings.
So basically his IPL average was around 100/7, ie. 10-15 runs :P according to me!

Gayle on other hand had a similar 30ish average. But his 'best' score was not very hight flying one like McCullum. Which meant that his average was actually what it appeared to be, unlike McCullum's which was quite a bloated one! This made me think Gayle will probably make more runs than McCullum in the match.

Thats when the profound sentence came in my head: With other factors remaining the same...
"The worse the best the better (it is)!"

Anyways, I think I wrote better IPL posts last year around this time. Example:

If you want more, just click on the label Cricket, which is same as clicking on this:
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Sunday, April 26, 2009
Why is it called the bedroom?
For couples, should it not be called the Mushroom?
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Saturday, April 25, 2009
What will opposition be thinking if Congress(I) **wins?
"Cong Rats!"

Why the heck did the Congress(I) chose such a silly way of campaigning?

I mean opposition could easily squash such a squishy campaign with:
Pros and Cons.
Pros Good. Cons Bad.
Progress Good. So Congress?

(The above pic is pilfered from http://sayesha.blogspot.com/2008/11/it-happens-only-in-india.html.
Left her a message
Confessing the crime.
Hope she doesn't give
A damn or a dime!
-An unpilfered and very deep and beautiful poem by Stupidosaur)

By the way I wonder why this fellow who calls himself Shael decided to adderess a song to the top leaders of Congress(I) (Sonia Gandhi and Manmohan Singh, in case you were wondering), and then decided to changes the topic after the very first line?

And why did they have to buy out the Rehman song? Didn't they realise that it was Lehman and not Rehman, asking for a bail-out and not buy-out, and that too from an altogether different Congress :P.
Can't they have ruined the charm of some other uncharming silly song, say like the above song, which is anyways about their very own leaders to begin with (Though not to end with :P)

Anyways, reading this post till this point, you may have started wondering what are my political affiliations?
Am I con-Congress(I), since whatever I mentioned about it was in the semi-satirical vein?
Am I pro-Congress(I), since that is the only party that found mention here ?
After all, in Politics publicity with any mathematical sign is publicity. Perhaps only the absolute value counts!

In case you were all wondering that, welcome to the boat in which I have been sailing all along :P! Even I don't know my political affiliation. The matter didn't get sorted even during this elections. Which basically means, I did not vote :P

Dont go all that "Haila! Oh your irresponsible jerk of a citizen!" on me now.

I don't vouch for 'Minority Appeasement'
I don't vouch for 'Majoity Appeasement'

Each government will try to do some good things succeed a bit, fail a bit.
After all, it has to try, cos it wants to come into power the next time :P.

Each government will have its scandals, some caught, some not.
After all politicians will be the Fat Bastards that they are.

Terrorist attacks are not dependent on Government.

I know my vote makes a difference. But does that difference make a difference?

God supposedly does not play dice with Universe. How can I play dice with Country?
Definitely knowing which party will be better would take multiple doctorates after MBA through IIM A or better. The vast complexities of variables of human, social, economic and international factors overwhelm me :P

OK I will cut the dramatisation. I basically did not register at the place I am currently staying :P. I do have my voter ID at the 'original home' and I did vote in a previous election :P.

Tata Tea bola,
"Agar election key din, aap vote nahin kar rahey ho, toh aap so rahey ho!"

Isiliye mein election ke din sachmuch pura din soya. Agar kuchh aur karta, toh upar likhit niyamanusar woh karya apney aap soney mein parivartit ho jata :p.

"JaaGoJaaGoJaaGoJaaGo Rey!
JaaGo Rey!"

Arrey haab bubah Jaa raha hoon!
Alright alright, I am Going!
Why so much repetiive tautology!? Why so much noise? Jaa and Go are the same Rey :P!
"JaaGo Rey!"

You could have just said "Poda!"

**Yeah. Notice that I? It stands for Indira I think. We all seem to have forgotten that its Congress(I), not just 'Congress'. There were/are hoards of other Congresses other than Congress(I) Mushrooming in the Great Indian Political Puddle.
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Statutory Warning

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The Name is Ring, Bo-Ring!

Friday, April 24, 2009

A lady put up her orkut status as "Cant you see the ring :) !"

I mean come on! Rings are heard, not seen! You hear the ring of the doorbell. You hear the ring of the telephone. You hear the ring of the mobile. (I was talking of landline earlier. Such things still do exist! Really!). OK, in the mobile, you simultaneously do see those flashy thingies binking. But thats not exactly 'seeing the ring' :P

Anyways, now I have decided that I am going to be

The Lord of the Ring of the Ring of the Ring of the Rings

which is...

The Lord of the Gang (Ring) of the Ring of the Ring of the Rings,

which is

The Lord of the Gang obsessed with analysing and following the Emotions Evoked (Ring)by the Ring of the Rings,

which is

The Lord of the Gang obsessed with analysing and following the Emotions Evoked by the Tinkling Sound (Ring) of the Rings,

which is,

The Lord of the Gang obsessed with analysing and following the Emotions Evoked by the Tinkling Sound of the Category of Topologically Doughnut Shaped Ornamental Objects Whose Particular Specimen Seemed To Have Made The Orkut Lady Very Happy (Rings).

Anyone care to join the Ringmaster?

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My blessed stars entertain themselves.

Thursday, April 23, 2009
My stars have nothing better to do.

They do this.
I have nothing better to do.
I notice.

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Brace yourselves!

Saturday, April 18, 2009
Brace yourselves! For I may be back!
I have actually taken a new inernet connection!
Connection god is now pleased with me.

Actually I had brought home and was trying to appease Connection almighty since last 3 weeks.
But the diety was displeased, as I was contantly offering the wrong Porssawd, oops I mean Password!

Today I finally marched to the Abode of the Connection Gods to fight like Bollywood actors fight with Gods in temples, using the traumatic jangling noise of the temple bells as their main weapon of psychological violence, to which any even the bravest opponent would surely surrender, rather than suffer the loss of hearing and sanity. I too intended to give the Connection Gods a piece of my mind and take away a little peace of their minds.

But all the bravado fizzled as it turned out that it was I who was trying with the wrong login credentials since past 3 weeks. OK not 3, make it 2 because the first week was wasted trying to get the right drivers for my Vista. The Connection gods offered Drivers Vardaans only for Windows 2000 or XP or something like it in their Magical Disks. So with tail between the legs (as it was my stupidity coming between me and the World (wide web), and not theirs), and glow in my heart (I was finally about to meet the World. Boy Reptile meets World!), I came home. After going through the daily inanities of life, here I am, posting the first ever blog post with the new connection! And its just a glimpse of things to come!

So brace yourselves!
And if you need to straighten out your teeth, brace them too!
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