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Apparently a Stupid school of thought

Friday, November 28, 2008
Appearance counts

Strange. I thought it never went to school.
-----added later to put the 'joke' in perspective.------

Without going to school how did it learn to count?

Jhonny counts because he learnt it in school,

(And of course I was alluding to how appearance has nothing to do with talent and schooling ;) )

Please note: I have continued this joke in the comment section too. Read if you are not already fed up.

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Thursday, November 27, 2008
The guests arrive.
Immediately the hostess starts the formalities.
"Will you have tea?"
Tea tea tea tea it is all the time!

And then the guest play their card.
"Oh tea? No nothing thank you! Nothing at all!"

And so it continues...

This typical scenario was immortalised in a famous bollywood song.

Guess which one?


Hamesha..."Tumko chaha?" "Chaha?" "Chaha?" Chaha?"
Aur..."Chaha? Kuchch bhi nahin! Kuchh bhi nahin!"

(Chaha means tea in atleast two Indian languages I know - Marathi, Gujarati,, Kannad and maybe others too)
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Bad Stupidosaur

Nari = Woman
Man = Man (what else :P)
So Nariman Point = Couple Hangout?

Hmm true even though Nariman point is a business area, it is also suitable to a considerable extent for a couplr to hangout. What with being one end point of marine drive and all, along the shoreline
Bad Stupidosaur because
Blatantly blogging, getting 'inspired' from the ongoing tragedy in Mumbai, since last two posts.
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Journey of Haiku(??) to Hell in half a day

An earning bachelor;
Yearns a bike and baiku*.
Is this a haiku**?
*baiku = wife in Marathi.
**I don't know what really makes a haiku, cos I haven't yet read this beginning to end. But at least my 'poem' seems to sound like the examples given there :P
Note also:
This poem is not autobiographical. I ride a bicycle, not a bike. I even took it to office for a year. Then I fell sick. Then I recovered. Then bicycle got rusted. Then I lost interest :P . Hope to revive it soon. And if anything, I still yearn a bicycle, not bike.
And about baiku. Well, abhi to mein Amul Kool dudh peeta bachcha hoon :P.
Also Note:
Actually I was inspired about this (this bike-baiku phonetics, not the haiku) a long ago when I lived with roommates.
My Marathi roommate bought a new bike. So I said "Arrey wah, naya bike! Fir nayi baiku! Badhia hai!" like that ad long back.
Note this too:
Yesterday night I actually made up the 'haiku' from bike-baiku.
After I made it, it reminded me of the new ad..
"Nazar ko kya chahiye..Khwab thodey jyada..."
(The visual theme of that ad is like the 'haiku' above)
That tune was still playing in my head as I eat breakfast this morning in the office canteen watching TV. And its anybody's guess what was playing on any TV in India this morning.
So like it happens with me all too often, I hear a tune and my reptilian brain clothes those tunes in some totally unrelated lyrics. This time the result was quite grotesque (Beleive me I dont build these words up, I dont even task myself to make a parody. The words just emerge in flash. I am not guilty :P) ..
"Terror karney ka hi hai...Taj phodey aaja"
(Nazar ko kya chahiye...kwab thodey jyada)
(The bold and unbold are just for indicating matching tunes)
(Sounds quite eerie if sung in the same pleasant sing-song tune)
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Help! My PC is falling!!!!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Help! Help!!
My PC is freely falling! My PC is freely falling!!

Right now, even as I am typing!!!

I wonder how I am still typing this as my even as my PC is freely falling!
Is it because I am a Superman? Super-dextrous, super-flexible with superfast reflexes flying superfast along with my falling PC?

Nope its possible because I am Stupidman reptile.

My PC has not hung up.
My PC has not crashed.
So I Stupid figured it must be in a state which is in between the two states : freely falling (see figure).

So I started shouting in panic.

Sorry if I increased your Blood Pressure and Heart Rate.
Glad if I gave you the Adrenaline rush.

Stupid if I gave you neither ;)
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Indicator of my Stupidity

Monday, November 24, 2008
If the turning signal lights of an Indica are called indicator,
Why don't they call the turning signal lights of Maruti as marutitors?

Infact, what about Santrotor, Accenttor, Volvotor, etc they all sound good to me :P
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Sunday, November 23, 2008
...in mobile...
...on bike...
...in bank...
...in life...
...and of the mind...

Yes balance seems to be the keyword of existence.

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The week-1 at new job song

Friday, November 21, 2008
Indica mein safar karkey aaa jaatey hain karney kaam...
Woh... firney hi aatey...
Woh.. firney hi aatey!
I ruined this song in case you were wondering...

zindigi kei safar mein guzar jaatey hain jo makaam..
woh ... fir nahin aatey...
woh ... fir nahin aatey!
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Stupid - Stupider - Stupidest joke

Butt is soft and smooth.
Is that why Butter is softer and smoother?

Some are butt of everyones jokes.
This was a joke of everyone's butts ;)
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I have a new title. So this post does not need one

Monday, November 17, 2008
They say when you die you go to a better place.

I discovered that whether or not its true for people,
it is definitely true for my career.

As some of you who still lurk around here know, it had died in the previous place.
The better place that it has gone to now gives me 61 % more salary, free cab transport right to my doorstep (previous company TOOK few thousand bucks for their jumping-jalopy rotten buses!!!!), subsidised food which is lot better than the non-subsidised food of the previous country (I am not the only one saying this. Ask anybody who worked for the company in my city. The food was really bad tasting. (Plus can you imagine eating kofta curry and veg 65 almost every alternate day?????) )

And the US couterpart mothership of this new company has received lots of awards for employee friendliness and had been voted amongst the top 100 best companies to work with!
The Indian couterpart also seems goody goody as of now.

Yes today was my first day.
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Saturday, November 15, 2008
I think I am really getting bored of blogging :P
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Self-Portrait Self-Poem

Who be the Stupidosaur?
You know not. And that is good.
What be the Stupidosaur?
I know not. I one day would.

The Stupidosaur, his essence,
his living fossils I seek.
As I dig bone by bone,
I may give you too a peek.

Do not seek the Stupidosaur.
You cant. Fat chance!
But if you persist and succeed,
you creep, go dance!
Today I was cleaning up my old rented house stuff, which I will need to move to a new house soon. ( To move closer to the new job.)

I just came across this Stupid 'poem' I had written long long ago in a book, with the intention of blogging (long before I actually started blogging).

Its quite a Stupid poem. Every second line ends rhyming duh!
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Lovindranath TAGore

Monday, November 10, 2008
So sorry I gorgot to add this earlier.

I was tagged by Kanan.

If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
My lover cant betray me. Cos she would cease to be my lover a moment before the betrayal.

If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
That one day I will actually have a real dream and fulfill it. I guess its covered by one of
my earlier posts.

What do you love the most in your lover?
The question should be will, not do. Then the answer is dont know.

What would you do with a billion dollars?
Don't cross your bridges before you come to them. I guess the idea will organically build up
in case I actually get them or would be in the process of getting them. Why worry now.

Will you fall in love with your best friend?

Looking at the symbolic cap in "Maine Pyar Kiya" had always made me wonder ki yeh hero
heroine lovers hain, par ek dure ko "Friends" ke naam ki "Topi kyun pehna rahe hain"?

Anyways, jokes apart, why bother about 'concepts' like friends, best-friends, lovers,
soul-mates and such crap. Just let the relationships organically develop. Yes you noticed that right. I have recently caught fascination of the word 'organically'. Ever since I read it somewhere recently and it seemed to be conveying this particular notion, feeling and sense for which I always felt and for which previously I did not have any word.

Please do not logically dissect the word 'organically'. I am just referring to the layman
meaning of 'organic', whose other usages you may have come across in phrases like
'organically grown food'. I am not referring to its scientific meaning. Scientifically
speaking, all the horrid plastics are also 'organic' because they are covalently bonded
carbon chains, and there is the whole branch of organic chemistry dedicated to these.

Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
Cant separate the process of applying butter on bread from the process of covering bread
with butter.

How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
I am not a waiter. Anyways I don't mind serving her dinner occassionally.

If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Wow! the person I secretly like voluntarily sends me an email with her pic? Obviously I'll immediately download the attachment! Maybe take a colour printout too.

If you like to act with someone, who will it be?
Your gf/bf or an actress/actor?Currently I don't have one. Maybe I'll make the actress my g/f.

What takes you down the fastest?
I m never high.

How would you see yourself in ten years’ time?
I dont know. First we had ponds. Then we had mirrors. Now cameras. Technology is too
fast and unpreditable.

What’s your fear?
Growing older without doing anything much.

What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
I dont judge people by their blogs. You should not judge me either. Shakespeare is not

Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Good things are not mutually exclusive.The question sounds like I opted for 50-50 lifeline in Kaun Banega Crorepati and the dumb computerji eliminated the correct answer.

What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
Depends where and how I fell asleep and what the situation is on waking up. There are infinite possibilities depending upon whether I fell
1) Slept in the bus and missed the stop while asleep
In a bus and wake up with a betel leaf (paan) chewing disgusting fellow sleeping on my shoulder drooling.
In a bus and wake up with the condeucter saying "Ticket ticket!"
In a bus and wake up with the ticket checker saying "Ticket ticket!" and I have one.
In a bus and wake up with the ticket checker saying "Ticket ticket" and I dont have one (blame the sleep, not my kuda-baksh musafir intentions)

2) Slept in the classroom with tummy rumbling (on waking during lunch break)
In the classroom with teacher mumbling at a distance.
In the classroom with teavher rumbling over my head.
In the classroom with friend poking pencil in my ear.

3) Slept at work with assignment due fifteen minutes ago
At work while others already left for that urgent meeting
At work while in that urgent meeting
At work with boss saying "Good morning stupidosaur, did I disturb you?"

4) Slept in bed at night and wake up on a weekend
In bed at night and wake up by the jangling alarm
In bed at night and wake up to pee/eat/drink
In bed at night and wake up to "Chor Chor Chor!"
In bed at night and woken up by the damn mosquito bites

5) An afternoon nap
6) In a boring movie
8) etc
It also depends whether I slept alone or with the hypothetical special someone about whom
this tag is majorly about.

Would you give all in a relationship?
Give take? What is that? I thought relationships are about organically (notice my fascination with 'organically' just being together. You give 'something' or 'everything' only when you selfishly expect something. Thats the whole funda of barter system, money, economics and such things. Relationships are not business.

If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
There are all kinds of love with all kinds of people, again not mutually exclusive.

Would you forgive and forget, no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?
Yes I will forgive her for falling in love with me ;)
But I'll never forget that she is in love with me ;)

If you get to go back in time and fall in love all over again, would it still be with the same person?
First let me go forward in time, fall in love all over for once, then go forward some more
in time. Then I can let you know.
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Any ideas how I can add some visible watermark or logo on pics to publish here?
I have lots from teh trip. And soem really very beautiful. So I dont want some random person copying them just so.
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Some new and not improved Stupid-o-sore jokes

Sunday, November 9, 2008
Friend1 (Emotional, Senti, About-to-start a Jagjit Singh Gazal tone): Lagta hai maine khudko kho diya hai. (sob)
Friend(?)2 : Arrey wah, tuney single player Kho-Kho invent kar di?!!!!


Girl: I wonder why men drool over leggy females?
Guy: 'Leg'gy females? Aha I think I know! Its for the same reason why girls drool over 'hand'some males :P


Said the Winner who was being felicitated with garlands:
"Nahin janab, mein yeh nahin le sakta. Mere guruji (coach) ne kaha tha, beta zindagi mein kabhi haar sweekar mat karna!"
People are at their wit's end trying to convince the dunce to accept the garland.
Just then his Guruji enters the scene.
"Lelo beta, lelo"
"Par Guruji aapne hi kaha tha...."
Guruji was quite familiar with the 'brain proteins got diverted to muscles' student of his. So this is how he convinced him to accept the garland
"Haan beta, par meine yeh bhi to kaha tha na, ki insaan ko haar se hi jeet ka mulya samajh mein aata hai. Lelo!"
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Am I sitting in an ST bus? What do you think?

Monday, November 3, 2008

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Like father like son? Anyways, son like like father!

During the recent tour, my father had a dream.

In the dream, a little urchin kind of a boy was helping us in some way. (father doesn't remember how exactly he was helping in the dream sequence. Maybe he was helping with luggage, or finding transport for us, ort showing us a good place to visit, who knows!)

My father is quite pleased with the boy. So he offers him some money.

The boy replies,
"Oh don't worry about that sir. I already took some out of your pocket!"

Some dream eh?

Now I know why I am half an eccentric.

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